Wednesday, June 17, 2015

Jason

Another Match.com date! Jason and I have been chatting for a few weeks now and discovered that we both work on Elgin, so I suggested we meet up for a coffee. After my last disastrous date with Neil, I want to avoid wasting any more of my time. A coffee date is perfect for that - short and sweet! Jason is 37, same height as me, a doctor, separated and has two sons (ages 7 and 9) and lives not too far from Centretown. He has 50/50 custody with his ex, so has his sons every other week. He seems like a great dad and really enjoys spending time with his kids (good sign).

Jason had contacted me first and when I read his profile, it really spoke to me. I also liked his 'alias' of 'onethankfuldude'. He seemed really sweet, polite and thoughtful. Hopefully I wasn't off base this time! My one worry was that while his messages all seemed really well written, that Jason would turn out to be boring... or worse... lack a sense of humour.

We met up this morning and I was pleasantly surprised. He has a very welcoming smile and we laughed a lot on our date. Turns out, Jason works at a medical clinic on Elgin - but is also experiencing some restructuring at work himself, so we chatted about that quite a bit. He's very into music and plays some music himself. We chatted for about 45 minutes before I headed back to work. I gave him a hug and he said he would be in touch soon. I had a nice time and would go on another date with him. Time will tell!

UPDATE: I did go on a second date with Jason after he was done a late shift at work. Very sweet guy, but I just wasn't physically attracted to him. Also, he seemed very busy being a part-time dad and full-time doctor!

Tuesday, June 9, 2015

Neil

I don't even really know where to start with this one...

After chatting briefly on pof, Neil asked me if I'd like to meet up for drinks sometime this week. Typically, I chat a bit more with a dude prior to meeting up, but thought to myself, what the hell - why not. He seemed polite and very excited for our date. I knew that Neil was 37 yrs old, 6'1, had a freelance job in marketing/publishing (used to be the editor of a well known local newspaper), and lived downtown. That was about it.

We agreed to meet up on Tues night at Bridgehead at....9pm! Immediately I wondered why so late (ahem, past my bedtime), so asked if we could push it earlier to 8pm. He had to work until 8pm.  I asked if we could meet up somewhere that served alcohol. We compromised and agreed to meet at Atomic Rooster at 8:30pm. Sidenote: I clearly didn't read his profile closely enough to see that he doesn't drink (recovering alcoholic maybe?).

Neil was waiting for me outside. He was super handsome, but I was thrown off by what he was wearing (as he did say he was coming straight from work)... jeans, sweatshirt and a backpack? He almost looked like a panhandler. He explained that the Rooster was too noisy and suggested that we go to the Royal Oak. I made a reference to it as the 'Dirty Oak' (which anyone who lives downtown would understand), but poor Neil didn't get it and I think misunderstood, thinking that I was unhappy with his choice. He ordered a Pepsi and I got a beer. And then things got weird.

Case in point:
- smacking his hubba bubba gum with his mouth open
- putting his arms behind his head in the booth we were sitting at
- cracking highly offensive/politically incorrect jokes which were NOT funny
- eyeing me up and down, massaging my shoulder from across the table, holding both of my hands, asking me to touch his mosquito bite(??)
- asking me if he 'passed the interview' or if he got a strike for being a renter
- telling me how he doesn't have kids, but he sure likes to "practice" (ew) and then wanting to cheers to it
- super rude to wait staff
- making fun of me for working in the gov't
- making fun of crunchy granola hippie types who live in Centretown (says the guy who is wearing BRACELETS, brags about yoga and lives in Centretown himself!)
- could sense his huge disappointment that I wasn't artistic (he asked me this question several times)

The list goes on and on. Neil was super cocky, arrogant and all over the place. He'd ask me a question, I would go to answer, and then he would jump into another question. Was he high?!

Neil suggested we go for a walk, which I (stupidly) agreed to. Again, I am terrible at getting out of horrible dates. That should have been my cue to leave.

The bill came and Neil mumbled something about going dutch. I explained that I only had a $20 (as did he). I figured he might just offer to pay for my drink, but no. He gave his $20 to the waitress who started to give him change for the bill, but then he sharply asked her what she was doing; that he had asked her for change for a $20. She was confused (as was I)! She gives him change and then he puts down $6 and she explained that he will need to pay for the rest of the bill (obviously). He then states that the $6 is for me and then I awkwardly put down my $20. Talk about complicated and embarrassing!!! When he went to the washroom, I apologized to her. Neil made a comment as we were leaving that the waitress seemed surly.

We ended up walking to a different bar where we got one more drink and the weirdness continued. We had nothing in common. I was annoyed because I had left my bike behind when we were walking in the direction of my place. After going dutch yet again, we called it a night. We walked back toward my bike and then parted ways at one of the intersections. I sensed he lived more North of where we were walking and wanted to ditch him. I gave him a quick hug, said it was nice to meet him and to have a good night. Of course this guy wouldn't walk me to my bike late at night or care if I got home safely!

This was our text message exchange when I got home:

N: Cute. But you're one hard person to read lol
J: Sorry lol
N: I don't often sit in bars. Glad we went to that second place. I'll remember it.

I was mostly upset that I wasted my time with this weirdo instead of staying in to watch The Bachelorette.

UPDATE: Jay
Jay recently reached out to me a few times on pof... once about a month ago asking me how my summer was going and if I had been up to the cottage (I didn't respond) and then again more recently after creating a new profile (not sure why?)... he asked if he could basically have a second chance, that he still owes me a drink. I told him that the moment had passed and wished him luck.

UPDATE: Rob
Rob and I ended up going out on about 5 dates in total, including one spectacular bday dinner prepared by moi. I went to a lot of time and money to do something nice for Rob. So when I suggested a movie as our next date, I thought he would offer to pay. Nope. He asked if I wanted to get the movie tickets and he would grab the snacks.... To be honest, this turned me off. He's a DIRECTOR in the government for god's sake! It never dawned on him to perhaps pay for BOTH the movie and snack... is chivalry dead? Perhaps. After the cheap movie date, I didn't hear from Rob for a good 4 days. I could tell he had lost interest... but I had left my 'good' Tupperware at his place (ahem, leftovers from above mentioned meal) and wanted it back. I swung by to pick it up and could tell by Rob's body language that things were done. He didn't seem to really want to let me into his place - I didn't feel welcome, so I left. A few hours later, I texted him to see how he thought our dates were going and he admitted that while physically attracted to me, he didn't think we 'clicked' in conversation. I always got the impression that maybe I wasn't too 'intellectual' enough for him, not that we had deep discussions. Maybe this is why Rob is single at 44? Sigh!