The possible Turk

A few of us went out to the Drake for New Year's Eve. I had never been before and had no idea what to expect, but I really wanted to check out the venue as I'd heard so much about it. The crowd was a little younger but we had a ton of fun regardless.

Nearing the end of the night, we somehow added a hanger-on to our group. He was a youngish guy named Daniel, who was just absolutely so drunk and in love with all of us (love might be the wrong word). Why we humoured him I will never know, but maybe it was fate? Because suddenly his two friends appeared -- friends we had never heard about until that minute -- I fell absolutely head over heels in love/lust with one of them. He wasn't the typical kind of guy I go for. He was sort of muscly and didn't have much hair but he had the most gorgeous blue eyes. I saw his pupils turn into metaphorical hearts at the same time mine did. We were glued together for the rest of the night, which was not long.

He kept asking me to go over to his place, but I declined, over and over. We did sort of make out on the streetcar (OK, not sort of: totally). The little information I gleaned from him was that he had lived in New York City for five and a half years. However, I did manage to improve on one score: I actually got his name and phone number. I texted him later that night and he texted me back right away.

Of course I googled him in the morning, and I thought he would be easier to find because of his unusual first name. I didn't find out anything more about him other than that his name is Turkish, which made everything make sense. So many Turkish guys have the most amazing blue eyes, and they have a weird affinity for me (I spent a month in Turkey as part of my trip).

So, now we come to the sad part of my story. I honestly expected him to get in touch with me at some point on New Year's Day, but I wasn't sweating it too much. I am, however, impatient so I texted him in the evening saying hope he had a good first day of the year, and he should give me a shout if he wanted to get together this week. He texted back early this morning saying he had spent the day relaxing, and that he hoped I'd had a good day, too. That's it. Hmm. Probably won't be hearing from him again.

Following the rules

When asked J if I could contribute to this blog, she asked me if I was doing any online dating. I was way too scared for way too long, especially after getting rejected from eHarmony after doing that whole frigging questionnaire. But...new city, new chances! Just signed up for Match.com today. It's like online shopping!

My guardian angel

Last night, out of nowhere, at the bar around 2:15 I somehow absolutely had to text this guy who I am semi-obsessed with. He lives in Ottawa. I am in Toronto.

Of course my friend, other C, said pretty much "this is the worst idea ever. Stop. Seriously." I paid no heed. A random stranger/angel (strangel?) came up and said "who are you texting? whatever it is, it can definitely wait until morning." And I put my phone away. Just like that. THANK YOU, guardian strangel!

Santa update

So, still haven't heard from my Santa. Part of me is telling myself that I got in touch with him on a weird email, it's super close to Christmas, and so on. But I check all of my emails all the time, even at this time of the year, so...? As Jay-Z says, on to the next one!

Santa Overload

As mentioned, I recently got back from a really long trip. I found it so easy to chat with people -- all people, but especially guys -- when I was away. I don't know if it was because I was lonely or bored, or if for once I didn't have an ulterior motive (i.e. wasn't always* hitting on them). I resolved that when I came home, I would approach things in the same laissez-faire way. Easier said than done. There's just some kind of psychological effect when you know you are back home.

Luckily, I have another friend who's just come back from an even longer trip, and we've chatted about this effect. We went out together the other night, and I think we resolved that we would treat it the way we would have treated a night out when we were each away only that now I think I might have only thought that in my own mind. Doesn't matter, because it TOTALLY WORKED.

We had planned to go to one particular bar, and when we got there it was full of Santas. We were the only people not dressed like Santa, or Santa's helper, or sexy elves, or whatever else women dress like when they are on Christmas-themed pub crawls. We had missed the memo. However, all this Santa-ness made for a really easy way to chat with people. We were meeting dudes while we were already chatting to other dudes! It was insane. (Also, a huge difference from Ottawa, where there always seem to be way more ladies than guys.) We really didn't have anything to lose, because there were literally always more guys in the mix.

We somehow ended up ensconced in a sports team's pub crawl (also Santa-themed). My friend and I ended up entranced by two of them in particular, and they ended up with us back at her place. I thought my guy was going to ask for my number, but I think he couldn't remember my name? In any case, he didn't ask. So later in the day, after a nap, my friend and I decided to go all Sherlock Holmes on them. Her dude had an unusual name, and that combined with their team led us directly to them. We thought we were so smart...until she texted me later to say she had found a team sticker in her vegetable crisper. They must have wanted to be found! At least, that's how we interpreted it. I used the opportunity to email my guy. Still waiting to hear back (ha).

*I was hitting on them, sometimes.

"Insights into the Delusional Relationships Women in their Mid-thirties Explore with Men Overseas"

Hi all! When J asked for contributors I didn't think I had anything good to add...till I went on a super long overseas trip. I expected that I would meet a ton of guys over the months I was away, but it turned out who I met were either age-appropriate guys travelling with their girlfriends, or nineteen year olds.

Which brings me to the title of this post. It's in quotation marks because another friend suggested it. I can't take credit. My trip ended in London, where luckily I know a ton of people....including a photographer who I will only describe as older, touching on age-inappropriate. We had a weird thing last year, and I figured what the heck, I would get in touch with him again this year despite not having heard from him for about 8 months. The dude replied to my text in 30 seconds, leading me to believe he was a) eager to be in touch and b) still single. We agreed to meet up the following week, which was basically ASAP for him as he was travelling.

I really worried about the greeting. Would we hug? Kiss on the cheek? Something else I couldn't even imagine? Luckily I didn't have to worry because he was on the phone when we finally found each other on the train station. He mouthed "sorry, it's work"....and apparently this was what I had waited eight months for. He took me to a really nice restaurant/bar where we had a glass of wine and then he asked me if I wanted to get something to eat. Clearly he was re-enjoying my company. We ended up at a tasty little Lebanese place -- which we went to because I had told him Lebanese food was my favourite thing I had eaten while I had been away -- and when he dropped me off at the end of the night, we kissed like it was completely normal and exactly what was supposed to happen.

The next night we had made plans to go to a museum, but he texted me during the day and asked me if I wanted to come to his place for dinner. I am nosey and was also sick of eating in restaurants, so my response was an enthusiastic yes. He picked me up when he was done work and we eventually, after 2 hours in traffic, got to his place. It was gorgeous. I was all "so this is what it's like to date an actual man!" We had dinner with candles and music. It was fantastic. And of course...I had to fly back to Canada two days later.

We saw each other again, and were all mushy, and texted all the time. I totally blocked out the fact that this was exactly what happened last year, and that after a month I stopped hearing from him. You see what's coming. We continued to email, text, Skype, and so on when I got home. After a few weeks, I started asking myself wtf I was doing. I decided I had to say something. He asked me on Skype IM one day how I was doing, and I said I was doing kinda crappy about being back at home and looking for work, and also the fact he lived so far away. He got weird, as indicated by his not typing. Basically all I could get out of him was that what did I expect, we always knew we lived far away from each other? I was vaguely satisfied with myself for bringing it up, even though I didn't really get an answer.

A week went by and I didn't hear from him at all. This was a man who had previously to this been emailing me at least once a day, if not more. I was pissed, to say the least. At the end of that week, I decided I had to do something. I didn't want to just let it go like I did last year. I emailed him and told him that what he was doing was hurtful. He actually replied to this email with one of the nicest letdown emails I have ever gotten, which basically said he found me wonderful but had had bad experiences in long distance relationships before and the whole concept did not appeal to him.

So let this be a lesson to you...speak up when someone is being a douche! You might just get a super nice email in reply. And in hindsight, I am so relieved. Who really wants to do long-distance anyways?

Seeking Blog Contributors!

my intent for this blog was to really blog about dating life. now that i'm in a relationship, this blog has become a bust!

are you single and want to share your dating stories and experiences? it would be a-mazing if you'd like to contribute to my blog (anonymously, if you'd prefer). KK, i'm looking in your direction -- you know who you are! if you are interested, please send me an email to: jenca2001@yahoo.com and i will set it up. men and women welcome.

happy dating!