Pre-date WTF

I didn't want to hype this up in advance, but I am FINALLY going to be going on a Match date next week. Except I wake up this morning to an email from the guy which I will paraphrase:

"I have been on a ton of coffee dates, and I seem to be stuck in a cycle. I rarely go out with a woman twice, not because there's anything wrong with them, but because I am usually in touch with a few women at a time. I always have my eye on the next one. I am not sure whether the solution is to meet a lot of people, in the hopes of meeting someone really special, or to only be in touch with one woman at a time so I can focus. What do you think?"

UM....SERIOUSLY? So, my first "date" is with a guy who doesn't even bother to get to know anyone unless they meet some mysterious requirements on which he doesn't even elaborate? FML.

A lesson? Maybe?

It was the headline that drew me to this link: How to Get A Man's Telephone Number. I love reading the Hairpin, and their advice is usually relevant and useful. However, this just cracked me up. It would totally happen to me. In fact, I am going to assume the same about every guy who never called me back.

Lack of updates

As the titles indicates...I've got nothing. I have a serious love/hate relationship with online dating. I've been communicating pretty consistently with one guy, but we have yet to meet in person (long, legitimate sounding story). What really annoys me is the fact that I get in touch with TONS of guys. And yet...I hear nothing back. The only guy who I has even seemed slightly appealing and has been in touch is the one I am communicating with.

So what am I doing wrong? My profile doesn't have any spelling errors. I don't look fat in my profile pictures. I send short messages that actively address what the guys talk about in their profiles.

Anyways, I am just feeling kind of down about it lately. Maybe you have some tips for me?

An expert opinion

Me: Oh my god, this guy is in a cowboy hat.
T: He looks like he'd be good in bed.
Me: Two of his four pictures are the same! The only difference is one is in sepia and one is in black and white!
T: Just email him.
Me: Oh my god. He's a limo driver. And he's writing memoirs of a limo driver!
T: He's definitely a criminal. Never mind.

The art of conversation

So, I like to think I am pretty good at writing emails and making conversation face-to-face. I guess, though, I wasn't prepared for the kinds of emails I would get when I joined POF? They seem to fall into three categories:

1. Emails in which the subject line and the content are both "Hi." Or emails that are clearly cut-and-pasted and sent to anyone and everyone. Does this technique ever work?

2. The perverts. One that made other C crack up last night when I recounted it to her had the subject line "Nice" and the body "tits." I also got a cut-and-paste from a guy with the username "CougHunter84" (obviously I clicked on this right away) that was a detailed description of what he wanted to do to me. For real? They have a whole section for people who want emails like that.

3. The actually sincere, which is rare, but always a pleasant surprise! However, one of the latest asked me why I was on the site. So, even though it's obvious what the real reason is, I said because I find it hard to meet new people. He replied "I find it easy to meet new people." Good for you, dude.

"One Fish in the Sea"

Here's an intellectual break for you. While perusing the Ottawa Citizen, I came across this article about a woman who was scammed by a man she met on Plenty of Fish. I was obviously intrigued because I just joined POF to expand my dating options. But reading on, I found myself asking what this has to do with internet dating at all. Couldn't this happen if you met a guy in a bar, or at Starbucks, or at the grocery store? What do you think? Is there something inherently risky about online dating?

A little tip

When your ill-advised far away British love tormentor says he will definitely Skype you when he gets home from work, and p.s., xx, and then you never hear from him again, not even to say "sorry! I had to work late" -- that's a dealbreaker, ladies!