Andrew: the finale

So, I guess I do sort of have an update here. Exactly two weeks after we had gone out for dinner, Andrew called me. This was the day before I was moving so to be completely honest I screened his call. I have visual voicemail, so I saw that he left a message. Visual voicemail is basically a computer transcribing what a person said and sending that you to via text. This is a reproduction of what I got:

"How are you (?). Thank you for your lovely time you're (?) ... I'll (?) take the other night...in-your (?) company unfortunately I don't think we need to be...take (?)...I hope this doesn't mean we can't (?)...should (?) be friends in some capacity it's-been-replaced-and(?) meet you and talk to you and it's about (?) so."

I was all like "aww! that is really mature" and so was the friend I was with. I realized I should have been upfront about the fact that I wasn't feeling it, and made a mental note to return the call.

Five days later, I was finally settled into my new place and steeled by a glass of wine, I sat down and forced myself to call him. I got his voicemail, which I didn't mind. I just said I was returning his call and he could call me back if he wanted.

Then, like an idiot, I listened to what the voicemail actually said.

What it actually said was that he didn't think we were a romantic match, but that he hoped we could be friends. I was the one being let down!!

Let this be a lesson: visual voicemail is shady at best.

Andrew round 2

So, I went out with Andrew again tonight just in case. 

And...I just don't feel it. I want to feel it, but I don't. I don't feel compelled to know anything more about him, I don't find him interesting, and I don't feel any kind of vibe. I want to, but I don't.

So what do I do? How do I tell him? 

Andrew

So. I was really looking forward to this date because the guy was cute in his pic, was a bit older, and had impeccable grammar.

When I arrived at the pub, I thought it was the server approaching me, but no: it was him. There was something familiar about him. But I just put it off to his thick-rimmed glasses and plaid shirt (I live in hipster central). Also, he didn't look much like his picture at all.

We sat down and I hadn't even considered that he had just come from work (which I knew) and wouldn't have had a chance to eat. I always feel so weird being the only one eating, so I encouraged him to get something if he wanted. He declined, but ordered a double gin and tonic. I will just let that hang there while you reflect on it.

We had a good conversation, mostly about travel, but I wouldn't say I was totally feeling it. Then...it happened.

We started talking about our respective summers, and I mentioned I am moving soon. I specified which area I am moving to, and he mentioned someone by name who he knew that lived in that very area. The woman has an unusual name. It's her apartment I am moving into. WE HAVE BEEN TO THE SAME PARTIES. How Ottawa! Now I knew why he was familiar.

So, nearing the end of the evening, I really thought he had checked out mentally. However, he grabbed my hand as we walked out of the place and then asked if he could kiss me, I said yes, and then afterwards he said he'd had a really good time and started walking me towards a little alley. He tried to start up the kissing again and I said I was not really one to make out in alleys (a lie).

I suppose he is going to ask me out again? To be honest, I'd probably go. 

Samson

So I finally went out on another internet date tonight, this time from OKCupid. The guy seemed nice and interesting enough, and he was willing to come to my new neighbourhood which was a huge bonus. His texts were cute and just the right amount of flirty. He looked like his picture. He just didn't...have that vibe. I won't go into a litany of my issues, but these two things sum it up: one, he flips houses but doesn't know the word gentrification; and two, he said his parents are a lot older than his friends' parents, probably because they had him younger (think about it).

Toe time

Wow. I know I have not blogged for a while but here is one for you.

Tonight I was on OKCupid browsing around and replying to messages. An instant message window pops up and the guy messaging me is pretty cute! You know I am a beard aficionado, and though he was only 25...what's the harm. So we were chatting, and he asked "do you have any dealbreakers?" And I said people who chew with their mouths open.

It turns out he was talking about "personal" dealbreakers, by which he meant things about me that might be a dealbreaker for another person. I thought he was going to reveal that he had a prosthetic leg or was in a wheelchair or something. But instead he said "I find girls' feet really cute." I was like "oh, ok...yeah, that seems pretty normal?" And he got a little detailed, in that he likes to see the bottom of feet with the toes stretched out and the girl's smiling face. I was like, oh, ok, that seems pretty specific, but to each his own, right?

Then he started on "do you have Skype?" and I said yes, I did, but I would prefer to meet up for a coffee first. It turns out he was asking because he wanted to see my feet TONIGHT. RIGHT NOW. My first thought is not that this is really forward/intense, but that my Skype username is my full name. Haha. So I tell him that my hair isn't washed, but going for a coffee later sounded great. 

He tells me that he can't ask me out on a date before seeing my feet because he would be nervous the whole time thinking and wondering about them! 

So I tell him that I have to go and finish knitting a baby hat that I am working on, but he tells me that's cool, HE DOESN'T MIND IF I KNIT WHILE ON SKYPE.

So I said "ok, I will message you later" (what is wrong with me?) and shut that window down.

First night in San Francisco

Number of bars visited: 4
Number of those that were closed when we arrived but we talked our way in to drinking with the owner: 1
Number of random Danes that were with us at this point: 1
Number of guys I made out with: 2
Number of texts I sent asking about the prospect of brunch: 3
Number of non-committal texts I received in reply: 2
Number of friend requests, calls and texts received from the other guy: 3
Number of replies I sent: 1 (accepted friend request)
Length of time, in hours, my hangover lasted: 8

Some weirdness

I know...pretty much everything about online dating is weird. But this was weird enough to stand out.

I have been having more luck on OK Cupid than on other sites. The other day, an instant message pops up from someone just as I am logging off. He sends another message once I am offline...something really basic, like "I think you're REALLY cute." I check out his profile because why not, and he is wearing a fake moustache and wig combo thing. In both of his pictures. And yet I am intrigued by this? So I write back and say "your moustache is really shiny! You must use Pantene on that." And so we have a few little back and forths, but nothing else. So he sends me two of his email addresses last night. Both are firstname middle initial lastname, one at Hotmail and one at Gmail.

I talk to my friend T about this at lunch, and she agrees there's something weirdly intriguing. I even log in to my OK Cupid account and show her the pictures.

So I get home this evening and check my messages on the website. I notice that his picture is gone from the little icon beside his message from last night. Weird, I think. So I click and I get a "this user no longer exists" message. What?! So in the last six hours, he's deleted his account. Okay...

I email his Gmail account. It bounces back. I email his Hotmail. It too bounces back.

What kind of guy goes to the trouble of sending fake email addresses? Why not just drop off the face of the earth like a normal guy? It's something new, every day with this crap!