Round 2: Dave

sooo after waiting 3 days (ugh, stupid rule), Dave ended up contacting me. i told him that i was just thinking we should probably set up another rendez-vous, and he seemed to like the idea. i suggested we meet up for a dinner date.

he ended up parking his car at my place and then coming up for a quick drink before heading out. as i swung open my front door to greet Dave, he was sitting on my stoop in rayban shades, a denim shirt, shorts and flip flops. somehow he can pull off the cool nerd look. we chatted and made fun of my book collection together (note to self: hide "the hookup handbook" the next time you have a dude over) and then head out to chinatown. we ended up going to a restaurant i had never tried before called yangtze. we shared the szechuan beef and curry noodles (yum!).

the conversation was good. somehow we got on the topic of dating, so we swapped some bad date stories. i don't know why, but i love hearing about horror date stories.. maybe it somehow makes me feel better about my own. i like that Dave is funny, but can be serious at times too.

once we had finished eating, our waiter immediately (almost as if on command) came over and gave us our bill (he paid). i told Dave that i wouldn't mind grabbing another drink somewhere, so we went for a nice long walk to the James St. pub patio. thankfully, the thunderstorm held off!

a lot can be said for body language. Dave pulled up a chair right beside me and was turned facing me the whole time. it was nice because i felt like i had his undivided attention, even though the patio was packed and loaded with TVs. i think i even felt our legs touch! ha. i am definitely attracted to this guy.

after 5 hours of enjoying each other's company, we headed back to my place and he gave me a kiss goodnight (take that, Jon)! it was a sweet, fun evening.

Dave

a few months ago, a close friend of mine went on a Tremblant snowboarding trip with some people and met Dave. she came back and told me how he's just my type - scruffy, sweet and funny, and that she'd need to hook us up. she befriended him on facebook, and after some creeping, i was pleasantly surprised. he's cute! minor detail: we weren't sure if he was single or not. i had heard through mutual friends that he was in a pretty serious relationship recently, but that they broke it off. finally, my friend sent him a message explaining that she had the perfect person to set him up with. he seemed interested (and confirmed he was single), so he asked if i would like to meet up for a drink.

we met up at a pub in the market on a rainy night. i got there first, and quite literally the only table left was one on a stage. i texted him to let him know where i was sitting and when he responded with "so does that mean you're going to give me a show?", i knew that the date was going to be fun and my nerves melted away. Dave is tall and cute with red hair and a killer smile. he's 29, lives in Kanata and owns his own business as an IT consultant. i guess he grew up in Kanata so all of his close friends still live out in the west end of the city. he did mention that he's thinking of moving downtown with a buddy of his sometime in the near future.

the conversation flowed very nicely. he's probably the easiest person in the world to talk to/get along with. we bonded over our love of Arrested Development/music/travel/cottages and the next minute, we were talking about prostitution in Ottawa (which is funny when you think about it). i decided to try something new: keep it to a 2 beer maximum. i want him to know that i don't need drinks to be funny or outgoing, but can just be myself. not to mention, nobody likes to go on a date with a sloptart. i paid for our drinks (huge mistake?) while he was in the washroom because our server wanted to settle up. he seemed surprised that i paid, but didn't exactly offer to contribute or suggest that he get it next time. he probably just felt awkward.

the lights were dimming and after 3 hours, we decided to head out. he offered to give me a ride home which i accepted for two reasons: 1- it meant i would get to spend more time with him (to be honest, i didn't really want the date to end) and 2- my mom told me that if a guy offers you a ride home, you take it because if you don't, you'll never get rides after that and it makes the guy feel good/responsible/gentlemanly. he drives a red VW beetle, which kind of caught me by surprise...explanation: he used to work for Nerds on Site and got a good deal on the car.

the awkward goodbye: the only downside to a drive home = less chance of a hug/kiss at the end of the night. i said that i had a good time and thanked him for the ride. because of the awkwardness, neither of us said that we should do it again sometime. UGH! i really wanted to say that. i've learned that if you're interested in a guy, it doesn't hurt to show it (stalking excluded), so i sent him a text message explaining that it was nice to meet him and asked him to let me know if he wanted to go out again sometime. if nothing else, i felt better to have expressed myself and show interest. he replied saying that he had fun too and thanked me for the drinks and said that he would get the bill next time. oooh a "next time" would be fun!

new strategy: i'm not going to overthink/overanalysize/overcraze this date. i thought it went well and got the impression that we both had a good time. my only hesitation is that i got the feeling that he's enjoying being single. in any case, we shall see. i need to remind myself to take things slowly when it comes to dating. i think i get really excited and then get too emotionally invested for my own good and wind up feeling disappointed/let down. i should enjoy being single too!

stay tuned.

Debbie Downer

i was feeling a bit sorry for myself this weekend... wondering why nothing ever works out for me. my mom always told me that everyone is entitled to a pity party, but only for one day. luckily i'm able to recognize when i'm feeling this way so i can snap out of it pretty quickly. the truth is, nobody wants to be around a Debbie Downer.

the message is loud and clear that Jon just isn't that into me. it's unfortunate...it's always disappointing when things don't work out. i guess i was just surprised at how quickly he threw in the towel out of nowhere. it's hard not to take it personally too. a few of my friends said they were actually surprised at how much of a fight i was putting up, given that i wasn't entirely sure of our connection at first. was it simply the thought of "losing him" that made me want him even more? a situation of wanting what i can't have? if i'm honest with myself, this is probably the case.

p.s. i just realized that i have NO single girlfriends in Ottawa anymore!

Round 5: The Set Up

it's been about a month since i first wrote about Jon. initially, we saw each other 4 times in one week and then both of us had pretty hectic work and life schedules which didn't permit us to spend time together for another 3 weeks. after date #4, he texted me to say that he thought i was really fun and wanted to kiss me that night, but wasn't sure if the feeling was mutual. i responded and told him that it absolutely was and that he should just go for it next time. his response: i WILL!

in between date #4 and 5, there were some very flirty, comfortable texts back and forth between us... however when we met up for date #5, again, he seemed maybe shy/nervous. oh, and no kiss on date #5. my plan was to go in for the kiss myself, but chickened out. i started to take it personally for some reason (bring on the crazy!) so i texted him and wrote "that's weird, we didn't kiss tonight!" he agreed and said that again, he really wanted to.

this past weekend i was away in Toronto and he was away in Montreal. on Saturday, i asked him if he wanted to spend the day with me on holiday Monday, stating that we should have a "day date". i've only seen him at night, and thought it would be fun to do some sort of activity during the day (not to mention the fabulous weather i knew we would be having!). his response: "i've always dreamed of that" (i'll take that as a YES!!). while we didn't have a time or activity lined up, he definitely agreed to Monday. so on Monday morning when i messaged him asking him if we were still on, he replied saying that he was actually on his way out for a ride on his motorcycle to Tremblant. huh? i was hurt that he wasn't asking me if i wanted to tag along and that he was essentially ditching me. there was no mention of meeting up later on that day. i replied saying that there must have been some sort of miscommunication and that i thought we had plans. i didn't want to be overdramatic and girly, but i definitely wanted him to know that i was disappointed. he apologized and said that it was days like this that he wished his bike could seat a passenger. i guess he was flying solo....

i think it's important to trust your gut when dating. as i mentioned earlier, he messaged me A LOT about a month ago. as of late, i feel as though his messages have dwindled and that he's losing interest (or possibly dating someone else?). i've been reminded by my friends that i'm reading too much into things (read: paranoid), that he's a guy, and probably saw that it was a nice day outside and the opportunity to take his bike out.

it will be interesting to see if he contacts me again for another date!

sometimes i really do wonder if i'm too busy to date though.

The Set Up

soooo last weekend i was at a party and out of nowhere, my friend Scott had an epiphany. he wanted to set me up on a date with his friend, Jon! well, why the hell not. it's been a while since i've been out on a date. Jon is 33, moved here 4 years ago from Fredericton, has a good job, owns a condo downtown and shares many of the same foodie/music/travel interests as me. bonus: he also used to own a Westie dog! we had been emailing back and forth quite a bit before the date so i was pleasantly surprised when we met up for drinks to learn that he's equally as charming/funny in person. refreshing: he sends emails/texts, several of them (not TOO many) and is very good at replying. we hit up 3 different pubs and spent about 5 hours together on our date. he's really easy to chat with and i immediately felt comfortable going into the date knowing that he is good friends with Scotty. i also like that he's not shy (probably an east coast thang). he offered to walk me home/get me a cab which was sweet, but i thought the walk would do me some good. he asked me to text him when i got home to let him know that i got home safely. it's funny because i've sort of given up assessing how a date goes, because sometimes i'm WAY off the mark. but in this case, he said a few times on the date how he was so glad that we had been set up and we even started to make a bucket list for the summer. he's invited me over for a bbq at his place on Sunday!

10 Things I Hate About You

Update on "two-faced Dan": I went to a less-than-desirable pub over the weekend (in its defense, it has recently been revamped) and spotted Dan on a date. I remembered how he had suggested that we go to said pub for our first date. I just chalked it up to Dan being new to Ottawa, so I quickly scoffed at (and mocked) his idea and promptly switched the location. Clearly, this is Dan's date hangout! I couldn't tell if he was on a first, second or third date with this brunette. They seemed rather cozy (the interlocking hands seemed a tad unnecessary) . One of my friends said that I was much prettier, which is always nice to hear. In his absence, his date spilled an entire pitcher of beer which made me giggle...

I went out for coffee with a guy friend of mine today. We often swap dating horror stories/strategies/lessons learned, etc. He had recently been given the "This is too serious for me. I've never been in a serious relationship. Can we just be friends?" speech. In any case, he shared with me something that he found helped him during this most confusing time. It seems pretty genius to me: make a "Top 10" list (think David Letterman) of the things you least liked about that person. Hey, whatever makes you feel better. Why hadn't I thought of that before?

Onto the Next One

I decided to give "Baby, It's Cold Outside" another chance. I needed to know if there was any spark/chemistry there. This time around, I was impressed that he initiated the date, and made all of the arrangements (including picking me up!). We had agreed that he would swing by my place for a drink before going out for dinner. Well, he arrived 15 minutes before our slotted reservation time, so it was a bit rushed and needless to say, we were late for dinner but it all worked out in the end. After a delicious meal, the plan was to meet up with our friends (who had set us up) and go bowling. By the time we finished dinner, it was prime bowlin' time on Saturday night, so we had to come up with an alternate plan. Instead, we went out for drinks at a pub and then back to our friends' house. I was so relieved to have our friends there to act as buffers (my idea - have you ever tried to bowl with just one other person? exactly). It definitely made us both feel at ease and the conversation flowed really nicely.

I can't say one single bad thing about him. He's great - very nice, funny, sweet.... but I can't force myself to like him enough to feel as though potential chemistry exists. Alas, it does not. I couldn't shake the "friend vibe".

After an awkward goodbye in front of our friends, I called it a night. I can close this chapter and move onto the next one!