Dumped: Dave

i've never broken up with anyone before. normally, i'm the dumpee. this was a first for me and i don't think i realized how hard it would be. i was stressed all week thinking about what i would say when Dave came over. a friend of mine told me that it would just come naturally, and it did. i let him know that i had given it a lot of thought, and i really didn't think he was ready to be dating. recently, we had had a conversation and agreed that we were dating each other exclusively. i never felt involved in his life (e.g., not once did he invite me to meet any of his friends) and i had to be the one to put in all of the effort when it came to setting up our dates. i was starting to feel as though 1) i was in it alone and 2) that this was a lot of work. and i wasn't happy. in fact, i was getting more and more frustrated... i had to tell him twice that i needed to hear from him more often. i've never had to do that before (and i shouldn't have to). no matter what Dave might have been going through in his life (a lot of downs), i still think that if he was truly interested in me, he would have shown it somehow. i was proud of myself for telling him everything i was feeling over the past few months - i just wish i could have done it without crying! i was obviously disappointed that things didn't work out, but i was also upset because i knew that i wouldn't be seeing him again.

after spending 3.5 hours of talking, cuddling and talking some more, he got up to say goodbye. i gave him a hug and he started crying, which really surprised me. y'know, not just teary-eyed, but full on crying. he said he was going to miss me, which was nice to hear because i honestly thought he wouldn't be that upset. he agreed with everything i was saying, and i think in a lot of ways felt relieved. i know that he blames himself. he told me that he doesn't want to be alone, that it was nice having someone around, but that he doesn't know what's wrong with him - why doesn't he want to be in a serious relationship? i told him not to be so hard on himself. he'll know when it's time.

in no way was the breakup his fault - he was upfront and honest with me from the beginning about not being ready. i took a chance (which i don't regret) and it didn't work out. were there red flags? absolutely. does it make me sad? yes. but, it didn't feel right and i knew that i had to end it because we weren't on the same page at all.