Andrew

i met up with Andrew (30, looking for a long term relationship on POF, new to the city) tonight at the manx (my idea) for a drink. truth be told, i usually like to preserve my sundays for laziness, but it seemed like it was going to be the only day that worked for the both of us. he works at the Westin so his hours are a bit all over the place. as much as i LOVE the manx, it's probably not the most ideal spot for a first date because the tables are really close to one another so it becomes pretty obvious to your neighbours that you're meeting each other for the first time. we had agreed to meet up for a drink, but he hadn't eaten dinner yet (because he was too busy napping), so it meant that he would be eating in front of me (yay!). a few times he would talk with his mouth full of food which was really gross. and in between mouthfuls, he would tell me about his kidney stones and his old roomie's excessive body hair...

while he made me laugh a lot and we have a ton in common, again, there just wasn't any chemistry. not to mention he looks EXACTLY like this dude i went to high school with which freaked me out a bit. i wasn't really physically attracted to him and i felt like he was dressed kind of sloppy for a first date (opposite of the metrosexual!). Andrew didn't ask me *any* questions about myself, which always makes for an awkward date. also, he didn't pay for my beer and tea! i think this might be another situation where he thought the date went really well, will probably ask me out on a second one, and i'll have to politely decline. i wanted to leave about an hour earlier, but the pub was packed and our waitress kind of forgot about us.

oh well, now i'm home and i'm going to eat some ice cream and call it a night.

Pimp my Profile

dating online you come across hundreds of profiles, most of which contain fatal flaws. enough for me to think "PASS". sometimes it can be depressing, other times you just have to laugh. what are these guys thinking? no wonder they're single! at the same time, there must be girls out there who fall for this garbage. are women profiles equally as douchey?

here are 10 examples of what i think men should consider when creating an online dating profile:

1. please come up with a good tag line. "i know, you can't believe i'm single" isn't cutting it.
2. be honest if you have children. if you respond "no" to "having kids at home" and then you post pictures of random children, i'm going to assume they are yours. just because they don't LIVE at home, doesn't mean you are childless.
3. do spell check. nothing turns me off more than typos.
4. why is everyone "new to town"? is a dating website really the best avenue to make friends? i'm looking for a relationship, not a BFF.
5. choose good photos. avoid the creepy-molester-mug-shots, omg-cute-i-have-a-dog-lol, ex-gf-scratached-out-face, super-outdated-back-in-the-day, i-swear-i'm-not-bald-under-all-of-these-hats, shirtless-bathroom-self photos.
6. be witty and don't take yourself (or online dating) too seriously. there are so many aggressive profiles out there. NO MIND GAMES. NO BS. really? 'cause that's my specialty. i had one guy ask me if i was "nice and normal" and it completely threw me off.
7. embrace online dating. there seem to be a lot of men out there who are ashamed that they are on these websites, with tag lines such as "don't worry, i'll say we met at the supermarket!". huh? but we didn't...
8. do fill out your profile. "i'll get to this later" doesn't exactly fill me with confidence that you are taking it seriously.
9. don't add me to your "favourites" or "people i want to meet" lists without contacting me. it doesn't make me feel special.
10. describe your job or be honest if you don't have one. "professional" is not a profession. and "i have one" makes me think that you don't.

Compliment?

"you look amazing in that horizontal striped dress as most people look much fatter in that type of clothing and vertical lines usually give the illusion you're slimmer and taller, yet you look slim and tall in that dress :)" -- a message from an online dater/style consultant

Ladies are like Baskin and Robbins.

check ca. all too familiar...

Finito: The Mexican

i went out for a short-but-sweet coffee date with the mexican early last week before leaving for montreal for 5 days. ironically, as it turned out, he was also in montreal over the weekend and wanted to meet up, but i felt weird doing so on a girl's getaway weekend. i suggested we meet up for a nice dinner this evening, so we hit up the black cat bistro on preston (yum!).

while this guy seems to be great on paper (handsome, polite, generous, kind, responsive, hell even a bit sexy, exotic, etc, etc), i've decided that i'm just not that into him. a friend of mine pointed out that i wasn't even excited for the date! that should have been my first clue. i think i was more excited about trying out the restaurant for a foodie blog write-up :( i wish i could say that there is a romantic spark/connection, but alas there isn't (at least on my part). i don't know if it's a cultural thing, but i couldn't shake the metrosexual vibe as well as some of his annoying mannerisms. i guess i'm looking for a more manly, rough-around-the-edges dude. or a nice balance of the two.

Is Being Metrosexual a Dealbreaker?

i met up briefly with the mexican this morning for coffee before heading off to montreal for the rest of the week. needless to say, i ended up hearing from him shortly after our first date. he is definitely a good looking guy. "metrosexual" has been used to describe him... he showed up looking very preppy in glasses, an (argyle?) sweater vest with a dress shirt/pants, nice shoes, scarf and leather jacket. keep in mind that he was coming from work (and he's latino, hehe). i think he just likes to look good and takes care of himself, nothing wrong with that. as it turns out, he might actually be visiting friends in montreal this weekend who just had a baby. he asked for my number and said he'd get in touch with me. he also suggested that we dine at the black cat bistro next week (on my foodie list!). 30 mins really shouldn't even count as a "second date", so only time will tell. i do enjoy his company, but i think he intimidates me a little bit.

on a side note, i found this definition of metrosexual on urban dictionary... it's pretty funny.

You might be "metrosexual" if:

1. You just can't walk past a Banana Republic store without making a purchase.
2. You own 20 pairs of shoes, half a dozen pairs of sunglasses, just as many watches and you carry a man-purse.
3. You see a stylist instead of a barber, because barbers don't do highlights.
4. You can make her lamb shanks and risotto for dinner and Eggs Benedict for breakfast... all from scratch.
5. You only wear Calvin Klein boxer-briefs.
6. You shave more than just your face. You also exfoliate and moisturize.
7. You would never, ever own a pickup truck.
8. You can't imagine a day without hair styling products.
9. You'd rather drink wine than beer... but you'll find out what estate and vintage first.
10. Despite being flattered (even proud) that gay guys hit on you, you still find the thought of actually getting intimate with another man truly repulsive.

The Mexican

one of my friends convinced me to re-join plenty of fish, in addition to eharmony. she met her recent boyfriend from POF and he's a great guy, so i thought 'why not?'. i was soon contacted by cesar (AKA the mexican). after a few messages back and forth, i gave him my email address and quickly discovered that he was packing for mexico city and leaving the next day. even though he was gone for two weeks holiday, we basically wrote each other every day and i began to look forward to his emails. now normally i am NOT a fan of a lot of messages prior to meeting up, but i went with it. the mexican is an attractive fellow, 32, 5'11, has been living in canada for 3 years, is a bit of a foodie like myself and has a good job.

this past week he emailed me to let me know that he'd be arriving back in ottawa at midnight on friday and would i like to meet up over the weekend. we arranged for mid-afternoon drinks at chez lucien on saturday. things i noticed when we first met: he's cute, has thick curly hair, funny, personable and very sweet (he brought me chocolates from mexico!). also, let's face it, there is something very attractive about a man who speaks spanish. we spent 3 hours together and i definitely had a good time - enough to be curious how a second date might go. sometimes you know right away and other times it's hard to know how you feel after a first date. i am a bit surprised that i haven't heard from him yet, but we'll see!

Aha Moment: The Ex

i met up with an ex tonight for coffee. the back story is that he said something really hurtful to me a long time ago and it has always kind of stuck with me. i consider myself a caring, kind, forgiving person and i was tired of feeling angry towards him, so i thought it might help. specifically, i thought i might bring it up in conversation to... i dunno, get an apology maybe. clear the air. the sad part is, i think this guy is clueless. do you ever have a "what the #@&% was i thinking dating this guy" moment? mmmhmmm. i basically spent an hour watching this guy love the sound of his own voice. and i hate HATE it when people challenge me on every. little. freaking. thing. if i like something, he doesn't. he has an opinion about my opinions.

all of that to say that i don't regret meeting up with him, but it's made me realize that i don't *need* to be friends with everyone. especially if we were never really friends in the first place! maybe i'm too much of a people pleaser sometimes. i care what others think of me.

oh well, scratch that off my to do list...