Saturday, March 26, 2011
Monday, March 21, 2011
Confused: Jason
i got stood up last night by Jason. we were supposed to meet up for dinner (his idea).
the backstory: despite the limited face-to-face dates, we have mutually been texting each other every day. i knew that we both had friday off, so i asked him if he'd like to meet up for a pho dinner. he said he wasn't sure, that he might be visiting a friend out in the country, but would keep me posted. well, by 5:30pm on friday i STILL had not heard back from him so i sent him a text saying "i guess you're out for pho. have fun with your friend". he responded immediately and apologized, explaining that he had blown his tire and had been at the garage all afternoon getting it fixed. a weak excuse, seeing as he clearly had his phone with him. in any case, he then suggested that we move our dinner plans to sunday. i responded and said sure, sounds great and he said that we'd figure out the details later on. we spent most of saturday day right up until the wee hours of saturday evening texting one another. the last message i sent him was something to the effect of being excited for pho! he didn't respond, but most likely because it was late and he had fallen asleep.
no texts on sunday. not one. that was weird, i thought. i decided to hold off contacting him, just to see when/if he would get in touch with me. he didn't. and yet, one of the annoying features on POF is that you can see when someone was last online. he had been online a few times yesterday. i started to feel angry...angry that i had even worried that maybe something had happened to him. nope, he's still in good shape to be online dating. by 6pm i said screw this, and cooked myself dinner.
against the advice of my own mother and some friends, i sent him a text about an hour ago saying that i was a bit confused, thought we had dinner plans last night and was disappointed when i didn't hear from him. no response yet. i can entertain myself with thoughts of "oh well maybe i just didn't receive his text(s)" (something that does genuinely happen from time to time), but if he REALLY wanted to meet up with me, he would have called to follow up (or facebook msg'd, POF msg'd or emailed for that matter!).
i might not hear from jason at all, and there's my answer. but it would have driven me crazy not letting him know that i was somewhat upset. i'm the kind of person that needs closure, even if i don't necessarily get it ("how will you feel if he doesn't respond?"). the funniest part is that we technically have date plans this saturday to visit a brewery (my fave beer!)together.
i think it's safe to say that i need to move on from jason. i'm not holding my breath that this guy will contact me again. i just hate that feeling of not knowing what went wrong. the worst part is when it comes completely out of the blue and you didn't see it coming AT ALL. oh well, i can't be too upset because i really didn't know him very well at all. and i'm the kind of person who wants to go on regular dates with someone i'm interested in, not have them spaced out and sort of all over the place with primarily a text message relationship.
NEXT! i just wish i had another potential date on the horizon to distract myself...
the backstory: despite the limited face-to-face dates, we have mutually been texting each other every day. i knew that we both had friday off, so i asked him if he'd like to meet up for a pho dinner. he said he wasn't sure, that he might be visiting a friend out in the country, but would keep me posted. well, by 5:30pm on friday i STILL had not heard back from him so i sent him a text saying "i guess you're out for pho. have fun with your friend". he responded immediately and apologized, explaining that he had blown his tire and had been at the garage all afternoon getting it fixed. a weak excuse, seeing as he clearly had his phone with him. in any case, he then suggested that we move our dinner plans to sunday. i responded and said sure, sounds great and he said that we'd figure out the details later on. we spent most of saturday day right up until the wee hours of saturday evening texting one another. the last message i sent him was something to the effect of being excited for pho! he didn't respond, but most likely because it was late and he had fallen asleep.
no texts on sunday. not one. that was weird, i thought. i decided to hold off contacting him, just to see when/if he would get in touch with me. he didn't. and yet, one of the annoying features on POF is that you can see when someone was last online. he had been online a few times yesterday. i started to feel angry...angry that i had even worried that maybe something had happened to him. nope, he's still in good shape to be online dating. by 6pm i said screw this, and cooked myself dinner.
against the advice of my own mother and some friends, i sent him a text about an hour ago saying that i was a bit confused, thought we had dinner plans last night and was disappointed when i didn't hear from him. no response yet. i can entertain myself with thoughts of "oh well maybe i just didn't receive his text(s)" (something that does genuinely happen from time to time), but if he REALLY wanted to meet up with me, he would have called to follow up (or facebook msg'd, POF msg'd or emailed for that matter!).
i might not hear from jason at all, and there's my answer. but it would have driven me crazy not letting him know that i was somewhat upset. i'm the kind of person that needs closure, even if i don't necessarily get it ("how will you feel if he doesn't respond?"). the funniest part is that we technically have date plans this saturday to visit a brewery (my fave beer!)together.
i think it's safe to say that i need to move on from jason. i'm not holding my breath that this guy will contact me again. i just hate that feeling of not knowing what went wrong. the worst part is when it comes completely out of the blue and you didn't see it coming AT ALL. oh well, i can't be too upset because i really didn't know him very well at all. and i'm the kind of person who wants to go on regular dates with someone i'm interested in, not have them spaced out and sort of all over the place with primarily a text message relationship.
NEXT! i just wish i had another potential date on the horizon to distract myself...
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
Round 2: Jason
Jason and I have been texting back and forth daily since our first date. it's almost embarrassing how much we contact each other. nonetheless, i took this as a good sign - a sign that he is interested! we agreed to meet up tonight to catch a movie. i had asked him if he wanted to grab some dinner beforehand and he suggested pho in chinatown. i liked this plan! later, he texted to say that he was worried he might not be able to make it to dinner because just yesterday he had to work late. as it turns out, he doesn't have a set schedule for his work days... he starts at 7am and ends whenever his boss tells him he's finished working. needless to say, it makes it difficult for him to plan. i didn't really know what he was getting at, so i told him that whatever works best for him.... we didn't have to do dinner, it was only a suggestion. the whole point in having dinner was so that we would be able to catch up and chat. the movie theatre is not exactly a conversation friendly zone (despite what some of my previous dates might think). the trouble with two people who can't make an executive decision = SEVERAL messages back and forth re: movie choices, movie times, location, meet up spot, etc. and to top it off, it felt like he was on "standby" in case he couldn't break free from work in time. fortunately, we were able to meet up at the movie theatre. the place was PACKED! it was intense. i kind of forgot that it was cheap movie night + March Break.
after the movie was over, we started making our way to the exit...then the parking lot... anytime you want to offer me a ride home, Jason....really, no.... how about now.... ok, this is awkward.... where are we going....walking around aimlessly.... i couldn't take it anymore. i cracked. i told him that if he'd like, he could come over to my place for a beer (hoping this will lead to a ride home). wow, when you write it like that it comes across as super forward. ha! i fear that this might have also translated the exact same way in person. Jason was silent... hesitant... "oh, that's ok if you can't", i said. then he went on to say something about having to get up at 6am (i later realized this is the exact time that *i* wake up every morning myself!) and checked his watch to see that it was 9:30pm. ok, old man - clearly it is past your bedtime! as most of my friends know, i am no night owl myself, but i honestly never thought he would turn down coming in for a drink and some time to get to know one another. i felt rejected. we stood there awkwardly by his car for a bit and then i went in for the hug (wow, i really do ALL of the legwork on this dating thing), said i had fun, blah blah. and only THEN did he throw out the offer to drive me home. i was so confused at that point, that i turned down the ride. what the hell just happened, i thought as i walked to the bus stop.
or am i overreacting? maybe he was legitimately tired, feeling shy or wants to take things super slow - all perfectly reasonable. in my mind, he made me feel as though i was being a total hussy. sidenote: have i mentioned how i hate dating? i decided to leave it.
well, speak of the devil! he just sent me a text thanking me for the date, expressing how much "fun" he had. fun sitting in silence beside me for two hours? i decided to be upfront and messaged him back explaining that i hope i hadn't come across too forward or made him feel uncomfortable in any way. no response back until the next day... he said that he wasn't expecting me to ask him that, so i think it kind of threw him off. he said that he has a tendency of making awkward situations even more awkward (don't we all!) and is a bit shy (aren't we all!).
i haven't given up on Jason yet, but hopefully i can see him before another week goes by...sometimes it's hard to keep the momentum going.
after the movie was over, we started making our way to the exit...then the parking lot... anytime you want to offer me a ride home, Jason....really, no.... how about now.... ok, this is awkward.... where are we going....walking around aimlessly.... i couldn't take it anymore. i cracked. i told him that if he'd like, he could come over to my place for a beer (hoping this will lead to a ride home). wow, when you write it like that it comes across as super forward. ha! i fear that this might have also translated the exact same way in person. Jason was silent... hesitant... "oh, that's ok if you can't", i said. then he went on to say something about having to get up at 6am (i later realized this is the exact time that *i* wake up every morning myself!) and checked his watch to see that it was 9:30pm. ok, old man - clearly it is past your bedtime! as most of my friends know, i am no night owl myself, but i honestly never thought he would turn down coming in for a drink and some time to get to know one another. i felt rejected. we stood there awkwardly by his car for a bit and then i went in for the hug (wow, i really do ALL of the legwork on this dating thing), said i had fun, blah blah. and only THEN did he throw out the offer to drive me home. i was so confused at that point, that i turned down the ride. what the hell just happened, i thought as i walked to the bus stop.
or am i overreacting? maybe he was legitimately tired, feeling shy or wants to take things super slow - all perfectly reasonable. in my mind, he made me feel as though i was being a total hussy. sidenote: have i mentioned how i hate dating? i decided to leave it.
well, speak of the devil! he just sent me a text thanking me for the date, expressing how much "fun" he had. fun sitting in silence beside me for two hours? i decided to be upfront and messaged him back explaining that i hope i hadn't come across too forward or made him feel uncomfortable in any way. no response back until the next day... he said that he wasn't expecting me to ask him that, so i think it kind of threw him off. he said that he has a tendency of making awkward situations even more awkward (don't we all!) and is a bit shy (aren't we all!).
i haven't given up on Jason yet, but hopefully i can see him before another week goes by...sometimes it's hard to keep the momentum going.
Thursday, March 10, 2011
Jason
picture exotic beer in a cozy booth at pub italia on a stormy snowy night. i had already decided to get there first (usually i am the last to arrive, but always on time). as i headed over, i started to feel nervous. REALLY NERVOUS. occasionally i will feel a bit nervous prior to a date (especially if it's with someone i've met in person and like), but this was weird. oh no, i hope it doesn't throw me (and my date!) off. enter jason: 30, 6'2" (hmmm not sure about that one, but at least he's taller than me!), plumbing apprentice, scruffy, black-rimmed glasses and tattooed arms (mom, i see you cringing as you read this). he was cute! jason is part scottish, which explains why he's originally from glengarry (AKA Little Scotland), is obsessed with the highland games and will probably wear a kilt to his brother's wedding. he's a country boy and grew up on a hobby farm. he has 3 brothers (2 of which are named rodney and ryan - my dad/bro's names). jason is currently living in manotick with two roomies - he moved there in order to start his apprenticeship (something he's not 100% sure it's something he wants to continue doing, one of his bro's is also a plumber), but is leaning toward moving out on his own and maybe even downtown. his dad is a retired carpenter and his mom is a nurse. one thing that i really like about jason: he's extremely close with his family and has quite a few nieces/nephews.
when jason and i first started communicating on POF, i immediately noticed that this boy cannot spell to save his life. listen, i have really good friends who can't spell at all (and who i mock on a daily basis - oh yeah, great friend) and jason was making them look like spelling bee champs. not a dealbreaker, but my god, it was difficult not to judge. one time he told me to be careful when walking home because it was "sleepy" outside - i promptly called him out on this. he thought it was funny and corrected himself: "slippy". the funniest part is that slippy isn't even a word either! ahem, i think he meant slippery. oddly enough, somehow spelling came up on the date...he mentioned that his dad is french and that he is fluently bilingual and sometimes gets mixed up between english/french and often thinks he should put an "e" at the end of every word. haha. still, no excuse.
when our bills came to our table, i excused myself and headed to the washroom. in all honesty, this was a test (i know, i know, horrible person). will jason pay for my drinks? c'mon, surely he can pay for my two beers! thankfully, when i returned to our booth he had paid :) he did offer to drive me home. i thanked him but said that i was ok to walk home, that i had a good time and that we should do it again sometime. i wanted to make sure he knew i was interested, but just passing up the ride home. i don't know why, but i feel strange accepting a ride home with a complete stranger on date #1. maybe on date #2 -- but what's the diff? i think it's ingrained in my head to refuse car rides from strangers. did i mention the roads were really "slippy"? it was nice that jason drove all the way out to my neck of the woods.
chemistry is a funny thing. while i felt attracted to jason, i did feel like we were two friends hanging out. i don't mean that in a bad way. he just seemed so at ease and laid back... meanwhile, i was incredibly nervous, for whatever reason, and kept fidgeting with my sweater zipper. ugh! on my walk home, i started worrying -- what if i didn't answer his questions "correctly" (e.g., "so do you like the country?"), what if we don't have enough in common, what if i blew my chances with this guy, why didn't he ask me for my number, etc, etc. holy crap, dating was making me bananas! when i got home, i sent jason a message re-stating that i had a really good time and that we should go out again sometime, hope he got home safely, etc. he responded and wrote that he definitely wants to hang out again -- maybe even check out a movie we had discussed! (sidenote: of course this sentence was fueled with spelling errors, but who's counting?)
when jason and i first started communicating on POF, i immediately noticed that this boy cannot spell to save his life. listen, i have really good friends who can't spell at all (and who i mock on a daily basis - oh yeah, great friend) and jason was making them look like spelling bee champs. not a dealbreaker, but my god, it was difficult not to judge. one time he told me to be careful when walking home because it was "sleepy" outside - i promptly called him out on this. he thought it was funny and corrected himself: "slippy". the funniest part is that slippy isn't even a word either! ahem, i think he meant slippery. oddly enough, somehow spelling came up on the date...he mentioned that his dad is french and that he is fluently bilingual and sometimes gets mixed up between english/french and often thinks he should put an "e" at the end of every word. haha. still, no excuse.
when our bills came to our table, i excused myself and headed to the washroom. in all honesty, this was a test (i know, i know, horrible person). will jason pay for my drinks? c'mon, surely he can pay for my two beers! thankfully, when i returned to our booth he had paid :) he did offer to drive me home. i thanked him but said that i was ok to walk home, that i had a good time and that we should do it again sometime. i wanted to make sure he knew i was interested, but just passing up the ride home. i don't know why, but i feel strange accepting a ride home with a complete stranger on date #1. maybe on date #2 -- but what's the diff? i think it's ingrained in my head to refuse car rides from strangers. did i mention the roads were really "slippy"? it was nice that jason drove all the way out to my neck of the woods.
chemistry is a funny thing. while i felt attracted to jason, i did feel like we were two friends hanging out. i don't mean that in a bad way. he just seemed so at ease and laid back... meanwhile, i was incredibly nervous, for whatever reason, and kept fidgeting with my sweater zipper. ugh! on my walk home, i started worrying -- what if i didn't answer his questions "correctly" (e.g., "so do you like the country?"), what if we don't have enough in common, what if i blew my chances with this guy, why didn't he ask me for my number, etc, etc. holy crap, dating was making me bananas! when i got home, i sent jason a message re-stating that i had a really good time and that we should go out again sometime, hope he got home safely, etc. he responded and wrote that he definitely wants to hang out again -- maybe even check out a movie we had discussed! (sidenote: of course this sentence was fueled with spelling errors, but who's counting?)
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
Round 2: Michael
it was a nice surprise when michael got in touch with me the morning after our date and invited me to go skating on the canal with him. seeing as i never heard back from alex (and still haven't!), i opted to join him. i've never been skating on the canal at night - it was actually really relaxing and peaceful to have the ice to ourselves!
at one point in our conversation, michael brought up his ex. i discovered that he is only very recently separated from a 9 year marriage...as in two months ago! to be honest, that kind of freaks me out. even if he had checked out of the marriage years ago, i certainly don't want to be anyone's rebound relationship. why not give yourself some time to yourself to figure things out before jumping right back into something? he explained that he misses being affectionate with someone, etc. ummm, it's only been two months! and take me for example... i'm kind of the opposite: i've been single for most of my life! his breakup was more recent than mine. michael went on to tell me that he got married really young (at 21), and that he and his wife sort of grew apart and are two very different people now than they were nine years ago.
we went for drinks at dow's lake after our two hour skate, and our conversation didn't really seem to flow as well as the night before. there were definitely some awkward silences... i just wasn't feeling it. i think our conversation about his separation certainly added to it. yes, it's flattering that i'm the "coolest chick" he's met up with so far from POF and it's nice that he's very attentive, attractive, etc, but i couldn't shake my gut feeling that it wasn't meant to be.
after walking him to his bus stop, i went in for the hug. he is a horrible hugger! he definitely wanted to go in for a kiss, but i truly feel that you can't force that sort of thing. to make things more/extremely awkward, his reaction: "so do you kiss on the second date?". i was taken aback and said "sometimes" and then left awkwardly. i haven't heard from him since, so i'm positive he got the message loud and clear. i really don't think i would go on a third date with him for all of the reasons outlined above. ah well, another one bites the dust!
biggest pet peeve: when a guy asks you for permission to kiss you! just do it already.
at one point in our conversation, michael brought up his ex. i discovered that he is only very recently separated from a 9 year marriage...as in two months ago! to be honest, that kind of freaks me out. even if he had checked out of the marriage years ago, i certainly don't want to be anyone's rebound relationship. why not give yourself some time to yourself to figure things out before jumping right back into something? he explained that he misses being affectionate with someone, etc. ummm, it's only been two months! and take me for example... i'm kind of the opposite: i've been single for most of my life! his breakup was more recent than mine. michael went on to tell me that he got married really young (at 21), and that he and his wife sort of grew apart and are two very different people now than they were nine years ago.
we went for drinks at dow's lake after our two hour skate, and our conversation didn't really seem to flow as well as the night before. there were definitely some awkward silences... i just wasn't feeling it. i think our conversation about his separation certainly added to it. yes, it's flattering that i'm the "coolest chick" he's met up with so far from POF and it's nice that he's very attentive, attractive, etc, but i couldn't shake my gut feeling that it wasn't meant to be.
after walking him to his bus stop, i went in for the hug. he is a horrible hugger! he definitely wanted to go in for a kiss, but i truly feel that you can't force that sort of thing. to make things more/extremely awkward, his reaction: "so do you kiss on the second date?". i was taken aback and said "sometimes" and then left awkwardly. i haven't heard from him since, so i'm positive he got the message loud and clear. i really don't think i would go on a third date with him for all of the reasons outlined above. ah well, another one bites the dust!
biggest pet peeve: when a guy asks you for permission to kiss you! just do it already.
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
Michael
i had only been chatting with michael briefly on POF when we decided to meet up. that's the way i like it, just cut to the chase! ha. a bit of background: michael is 31, 6'2", has been a web designer working for the National Capital Commission for 10 years, produces music videos for his friends on the side, originally from ottawa, has an older sister (+2 yrs) and an older brother (+10 years...living in BC), is currently renting out the basement of his sister's house while he sells his house in almonte and then plans on living in westboro or centretown. oh, and he's separated. to be honest, i didn't notice this detail right away on his profile. i decided to give him a chance - you never know what the full story might be, and it's not like he has children with his ex. also, i keep forgetting that i actually dated someone who was divorced, so it's obviously not a strict dealbreaker for me. that being said, it is a flag to proceed with caution, in my opinion.
we met up for drinks at the moonroom on preston. awesome date spot! as cheesy as it sounds, it's completely lit up by candles and the atmosphere is really romantic. i had been several times before, but when it is much busier than on a snowy monday night. the best news? our date went really well, yay! so much so, that we're already talking about a second date. he is very easy to talk to and while we have some things in common, we are definitely very different at the same time, but that kind of draws me to him. reasons why i know there was chemistry: if i like someone, i have noticed that i go out of my way to touch their arm when i'm talking; he sat beside me at the table; our body language; sort of flirty banter, etc. our conversation just flowed. at one point he said that it was nice that we didn't have to fill the silences. i like that he's interesting and creative - he can be a bit intense/serious too. michael has been on POF for 4 weeks now and has gone on 4 dates. he said two of them were extremely short (20-30 mins) because either the chick didn't look anything like her photos, or she grilled him about whether or not he was a convict/gang member (really?! also, good news is he's not). i wish i had the courage to walk out on a bad date so soon... i'm guilty of being too nice sometimes (that, or a sucker). he mentioned a few times that he thought the date was going well and said he gave me a "5", so i asked "out of 10??" and he said "no, out of 25", obviously as a joke. talk of his ex obviously didn't come up on the date...i am very curious, but would never ask so early on.
after just over 4 hours of chatting, it was time to go. like a true gentleman, he paid for all three of my drinks. i gave him a hug and blurted out something about how he should call me and then sure enough, i was the one to send the "thanks for the fun night" text and he replied immediately saying that it was fun and to contact him soon so that we could line up round 2. stay tuned!
i am supposed to have a date with a different guy tonight, alex, but he has completely fallen off of the POF radar! i can tell that he hasn't been online since Thursday evening. i think it's a bit rude that we were supposed to meet up tonight and he hasn't even bothered to check his account to figure out the time/location of our date. boo! i can only imagine his excuse, if he even bothers to contact me at all.
we met up for drinks at the moonroom on preston. awesome date spot! as cheesy as it sounds, it's completely lit up by candles and the atmosphere is really romantic. i had been several times before, but when it is much busier than on a snowy monday night. the best news? our date went really well, yay! so much so, that we're already talking about a second date. he is very easy to talk to and while we have some things in common, we are definitely very different at the same time, but that kind of draws me to him. reasons why i know there was chemistry: if i like someone, i have noticed that i go out of my way to touch their arm when i'm talking; he sat beside me at the table; our body language; sort of flirty banter, etc. our conversation just flowed. at one point he said that it was nice that we didn't have to fill the silences. i like that he's interesting and creative - he can be a bit intense/serious too. michael has been on POF for 4 weeks now and has gone on 4 dates. he said two of them were extremely short (20-30 mins) because either the chick didn't look anything like her photos, or she grilled him about whether or not he was a convict/gang member (really?! also, good news is he's not). i wish i had the courage to walk out on a bad date so soon... i'm guilty of being too nice sometimes (that, or a sucker). he mentioned a few times that he thought the date was going well and said he gave me a "5", so i asked "out of 10??" and he said "no, out of 25", obviously as a joke. talk of his ex obviously didn't come up on the date...i am very curious, but would never ask so early on.
after just over 4 hours of chatting, it was time to go. like a true gentleman, he paid for all three of my drinks. i gave him a hug and blurted out something about how he should call me and then sure enough, i was the one to send the "thanks for the fun night" text and he replied immediately saying that it was fun and to contact him soon so that we could line up round 2. stay tuned!
i am supposed to have a date with a different guy tonight, alex, but he has completely fallen off of the POF radar! i can tell that he hasn't been online since Thursday evening. i think it's a bit rude that we were supposed to meet up tonight and he hasn't even bothered to check his account to figure out the time/location of our date. boo! i can only imagine his excuse, if he even bothers to contact me at all.
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