Saturday, February 26, 2011

Chris

it was a refreshing change when chris contacted me on POF (normally i'm the one who has to initiate contact). we started chatting while i was in florida visiting my parents a few weeks ago. after a few messages back and forth, chris gave me his phone number and suggested we text each other. generally, i try to avoid texting until after i've met the person, but i thought why not. chris texted me a lot, which kind of freaked me out a bit... but then again, i would probably complain if he didn't text me (never happy!). what i thought was weird was that he would text me EVERY morning for like a week at 6:30am wishing me a good morning. he had no idea what my work hours are, so for all he knew, i could have been asleep! i finally sent one back asking if this was a wakeup call. he said he thought it would be a nice way for me to wake up. THEN he texted me at 8:30am today on date day (a Saturday!). anyone who knows me knows that i'm a morning person (so yes, i was already awake), but still!

we were initially supposed to meet up on wed night and go skating on the canal, but i was feeling sick and he ended up having to work late. so we moved the date to 1:00pm this afternoon. well, at around 12:20pm i get a text from him saying "running behind schedule". ummmm ok... i asked him when he thought he would be ready. he said 2pm. a whole hour late! well good thing i hadn't left yet for the canal. he didn't apologize for it either which i thought was strange/rude (and never did explain it in person).

when we did finally meet up, i immediately noticed that he looked a lot different from his photos. less attractive, bald spot, bad teeth and definitely shorter than the 6'1" he advertised on his profile. in all honesty, i was bummed. we put on our skates and then he whipped out the ugliest, most embarrassing winter hat (complete with two braids on either side). UGH! after a few minutes of chatting, i detected an accent....as in an i'm-from-a-small-town-in-northern-ontario-aka-hicksville kind of accent. he would finish several sentences with "...and shit". oh yeah, lots of swearing which was also a turnoff. and for someone who plays and talks about hockey a lot, he didn't seem to be the best skater. chris has lived in ottawa for a little over a year now, so we talked a lot about different events going on in town. at one point, he told me he wanted to sit down on a bench (i thought to fix his skate or something), so we sat and chatted for a while. again, i was shocked at how little he asked about me. all he seemed to talk about was work (he has 2 jobs). at one point i was laughing (at him, not with him), but i'm sure he thought he was being really funny. in my head: are we really talking about this on a first date?! he told me about random things...everything from attending a garlic festival in almonte to sexapalooza at lansdowne park (and buying a massage mitt and receiving man-hose as a parting gift). it was all a little too much for me. we definitely didn't hit off... i felt like we barely had anything in common. chris would often say "oh, i completely agree with you" and i was left wondering what i had said that he would have agreed with me.

i would have liked to have skated longer (read: less bench sitting), but chris wanted to head back since he had dinner plans. pfew! i was fully prepared to make something up so that i didn't have to continue the date post-skating. so all in all, my date was 1.5 hrs on a saturday afternoon and i managed to get some exercise and fresh air. could have been worse. i walked chris to his bus stop and thanked him for the skate. i just got a text message from him thanking me for the nice time...it's difficult to reply when you know that you aren't interested and wouldn't dream of a second date.

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

You've Got Mail!

i wanted to share with you some of the messages i've received on POF. this is the crap that jams up my inbox and they are classic examples of *my* rant from my "pimp my profile" post.

1. "how are you doing? how can i get to know you?" -- from a man whose only photo is of him checking out some packaged ground beef in the grocery store. his tagline is "yes always leads to something good".

2. "johnnyhangover" is really the best alias you could come up with?

3. one message was ENTIRELY written in french. desolee Stephane!

4. "U like cooking fo' real.. as mentioned in your bio.... what.. like a tv dinner now and then with some mac and cheese.. So, did u get a hangover over this long weekend, or have you 'retired' from that kinda partying? U go gurl. Cheers." -- this from a man with a PhD.

5. "Very nice to make your acquaintance. Hope you are having a wonderful weekend. Seems to me that we have a lot in common, apart from the qualities we are seeking, and hobbies. For over the past 5 years, I have been working with Indian and Northern Affairs Canada as an Access to Information and Privacy Analyst. I would only be more than happy to tell you more about this." -- it goes on (and on and on...), but it's too lengthy, awkward and formal to post. soooo i'm confused, what exactly do we have in common if the qualities and hobbies we are seeking in a partner aren't the same?

6. "Hey Chica, Como esta?" - I also don't speak Spanish. And no more Mexicans!

7. " good morning sweet lady. I was browsing for the first time here and i came across your profile . i must say it sparked my interest. i would like to say hello to you first and second tell u a bit about me. 'Am 6'2 200IBS fit guy. Am happy, energetic and spiritual person and that suits my life style. Positive energy is how i look at things and life in general. am energetic , mature and fun person .Well educated, spontaneous and always smiling. am a deep person, i enjoy nice company, cuddling and funny by nature. I like to laugh and i can carry a conversation. I like outdoors, walks and simplicity in life hope you enjoying your day. am casse. what's yours bye for now . keep the smile" - from casse AKA Fanta_Bubbles?? 'nuff said.

8. "Those eyes of yours could inspire a poet...I just might have to start writing poetry! ;)" -- fortunately, The_Rock_1975 has since closed his account. ladies everywhere, this is a good thing.

9. "Hey there how are you? I am in your city for work. I am from LA. How are you" -- oh heyyy there Mr. Winemaker/Pilot. what's that you say? you flew into town for the weekend and want to meet up? errr yeah, probably not going to work out as i'm looking for a RELATIONSHIP in CANADA, preferably in my hometown.

10. "
I cannot believe there's a pearl like you in this ocean." -- different Stephane

11. "
...I decided to make a quick stop on internet to check if you did response.... and my deception that you didn't. I would love to tell you more about me and how my heart was excited when I read your profile. Have A wonderful day... you are definately a rainbow to any man heart!" - did this guy just call me a rainbow?

One Man's Rant

I stumbled across this guy's (lengthy!) profile on Plenty of Fish. check out one man's online dating experience:

I've been on here for a while now, for the same reason as all of you. I'm done with the bar scene, not that I was ever started with it. People rarely have the courage to approach someone in public, myself included..but I still try, and still do it. Sometimes it's tougher to approach someone, like on the bus, or other awkward public places. It's always great when you're locking eyes with someone or smiling, then watching them walk away, staring through the window at you. It's happened to us all somehow I'm sure and we all kick ourselves for not saying
"Hello". Point is, this site is good for meeting those people you don't get the chance to meet on a normal day. Like I said, same reason we're all here. Hardest part is meeting someone though...

This site is torture though! Women hate it because most of the men who contact them are E-Males trying to get in their pants. Like the Bar Stars took over. The rest of the men, the "Good Guys" hate it because those stupid morons are blowing it for us by pissing all of you women off! Now we have to not only impress you, but also prove we're not trying to screw with your heads or get in your pants. B*stards! You'll read some profiles of people that really appeal to you, that you share commonalities with, and attracts you as well. We are human after all. But in real life, if you were approached by that person in public, you're flattered by the gesture alone, regardless of what is said. That person doesn't know a thing about you or what they have in common with you, just pure attraction and probably sexual thoughts. On here though, it's a different story all together..not to say people don't have sexual intentions on here either! Women get flooded with emails and delete right away. Or, like most of us, it's straight to the photos to see if there's an attraction. Then maybe you'll read their profile. I know I always read them,.... but most wont. Then you have to catch that persons attention by email in one shot, which let me tell you, isn't fuc*ing easy! (thanks to those Bar Star/E-Males) This site is the classic example of "judging the book by it's cover" No one takes the time to get to know the person behind the photo it seems. Whereas in real life if you were approached out of the blue, the flattery takes over, and all you want to do is get to know that person.

I read so many profiles or hear stories about lame ass guys who write lame ass emails. If I've written you, chances are it's pretty detailed about your profile or interests, and actually gives off the impression that I'm actually trying to get to know you. Provided you actually wrote something in your profile and not "I'll fill this out later" What's classic though, is the majority of the emails that I get, are the ones you ladies all dread getting! "Hey, what's up?" or "Cute dog :P" are the usual's. I appreciate the extremely small bit of effort to get to know me by asking "what's up?", but everyone knows dogs are cute, and showing that you have more interest in my dog than me, isn't helping your chances. "A little effort goes a long way", as all of you ladies say. Just put forward the same amount of effort you ask for as well please. We all hate it!