Robert: really?

just got the email below from Robert... i'm always surprised when one person hasn't clued in that the other person is NOT interested in a second date. not really sure what would lead him to think that it was a possibility. was i giving off the impression that i was interested?
---------------

Hi Jen,

just getting back home now.. it's been a busy few days.

It was nice meeting you the other night. I had a really good time and
hope you did too.
I know the holiday season is busy and all, but if you have a free
night this week I think we should go grab a bite to eat someplace.

oh by the way, how was your show? Did you end up with good seats?

ciao,
Rob

Robert

Two dates in one week, wow.

I met up with Rob for a quick drink at Hooley's before heading out to the NAC with a friend. Again, a great scenario in case the date is really painful. Hmmm...I may have to lie and always use this as my set up.

I was most excited to meet Rob out of all of my matches - I enjoyed reading his profile, he had some fun pictures, and his emails were witty. However, I have definitely learned from past experience that sometimes, as in this case, doesn't necessarily translate when meeting in person. One thing I was concerned about was that Rob's emails were scattered (and the guy works in computer security!)... I'd hear from him in 3 weeks, then in a few days, then in another 2 weeks. No consistency! And after we had finally semi-agreed on a date/time, I was still waiting for a final confirmation email before taking the plunge. I had to send him another email to confirm, and he replied to say he had been looking forward to it all week, and that he'd be the guy in the green shirt by the door. And sure enough, he was the first person I saw as I swung open the doors. He was wearing glasses which kind of threw me off because he wasn't wearing them in any of his photos. Also, none of his photos contained a full body shot, so I didn't really know what his body type would look like. He was quite thin (but again, hard to tell when someone is sitting down at a booth across from you).

Rob was pretty quiet (a soft speaker) and hella nerdy, but we talked about travel a lot as he was going to be taking a trip to Peru in the new year. I immediately knew that there wasn't really anything there... I started daydreaming about how I wanted to give him a makeover and how I could bust him out of his nerdy shell...maybe if he unbuttoned a few of his collared shirt buttons, he would loosen up. I always know it's a good date if the conversation flows nicely, I've laughed a lot and there are no awkward silences. Unfortunately, the opposite of this took place with Rob. At one point, he brought up how I had other plans that evening and it was the perfect escape route for me: "oh yeah, I should probably get the bill and get going".

He's 28, originally from Montreal, owns a condo, seems to have a good job, decent looking, etc, etc but not my type and there was no connection. The night wasn't completely lost - I headed next door to one of my fave new restaurants and had a delicious dinner by myself before meeting up with my friend to catch a great live performance!

I'm starting to think I'll take a bit of a break from all this dating stuff over the holidays in effort to (hopefully) feel refreshed in the new year! C'mon 2011.

In other news: I bumped into my ex, Mat, and his new gf last night when I was out for a late night dinner. I haven't seen him in almost 2 years! I was always quite impressed with myself that it was SO great never having bumped into him. Not only that, but then they also showed up at the bar I went to AFTER dinner! What are the chances? Ugh.

Patrick

i had a lunch date today with Patrick, 31, works for the Senate. physically, he's not really the type of guy i'm typically attracted to (bald), but i thought i'd give it a shot. we met up at parliament pub (my suggestion) and fortunately he was the only person inside, so it was easy to spot him. UNfortunately, his salad came with a giant bug (still alive!) on it. it was super awkward... at first i wasn't even sure if the waitress was going to do anything about it (something about "oh, you know...packaged lettuce") and clearly Patrick had lost his appetite. i started freaking out at the thought of him just watching me eat my lunch, but he did end up ordering a panini (minus the salad), on the house. luckily, he's not the super shy type so he did a lot of the talking, but our conversation was somewhat boring and it felt like we were running out of questions to ask one another... i think the words "gaming convention" are a bit of a dealbreaker for me. also, he seemed genuinely and personally offended that i didn't enjoy the movie Inception. ugh! it all boils down to the fact that there was no real romantic chemistry. i will be shocked if he follows up with me.

later:

Hi, Jen,

It was really nice to meet and chat with you, but I have to say I wasn't really "feeling it" and I got the impression you weren't, either. That sucks, but I guess it's the way it goes sometimes.

I wish you all the best, and hope you have a great Christmas and New Years!

-- Patrick

Book Review: I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell

i definitely feel as though i lost a few brain cells after reading this "gem" by tucker max. it's an "autobiography" (read: highly exaggerated) by a self-proclaimed douchebag. and yet somehow it wound up on the new york times bestseller list, was made into a movie and he has a follow up book appropriately entitled Assholes Finish First. any guy i mention this book to seems to automatically recognize/acknowledge it and will even go so far as to credit this loser as some sort of idol to all men everywhere. the book essentially follows tucker's drunken and sexual escapades with his equally douchey friends. and throughout his journey, tucker is there to remind you how he is a celebrity/god for writing this crap (read: extremely insecure). what self-respecting woman would hook up with him, especially after reading his book? he is every girl's worst nightmare: he developed his own demeaning female rating system, and some of the stuff he writes about (confronting ugly/fat women, etc) is anything but humourous. and yet he claims to have quite the following. i've seen pictures of this dude - he is not the most amazing piece of eye candy i've ever seen...he actually reminds me of a nerdy boyfriend on Sex and the City.

No Strings Attached

pretty sure, this doesn't work.

Dave II

i haven't been overly satisfied with my eharmony experience... the site isn't very user friendly and it seems like my matches aren't willing to share their pic with me. for those of you who don't know how it works, there are a few steps you need to complete before being able to message your match (or you can skip right to messaging). i had finally made it to the "messaging phase" with not one, but two matches! eharmony miracle, right? one of them, shaun (30), only had one photo posted of himself and seemed clueless as to how to send me others despite the fact that he worked in the IT field. he also divulged that he was "living at home (saving up money)" - kind of a dealbreaker for me. i can't date another dude living at home with mommy and daddy because it reminds me too much of my bro...

and then there was dave (38). i hemmed and hawed about contacting him... in fact, i was curious how he had even been matched with me because i thought i put a cap at 37! ha. but, he had a nice smile and his emails were funny. i knew that he was born out east, worked for IBM and currently resided in the hunt club area, but that was pretty much it before i decided to ask him out. i'm not one to message back and forth a lot before meeting up because i find it builds too much expectation. we agreed to meet up for a quick drink after work last night. he kept giving me his phone number and asking me to call him because it was a "big bar".... it's ottawa, how big is any bar in town? plus, i didn't want him to have my digits in case the date was a bust.

i found him immediately when i entered - he must have also just arrived, so we made our way to a table and had a few pints of beer. immediately, it felt like i was on date with my dad (i guess a compliment to my dad?!). i don't know what 38 looks like, but dave looked OLD. a nice looking guy, friendly, but old in every sense - his mannerisms, his outdated humour, his references, etc, etc, etc.

the following are a few dealbreakers from our date:
- please don't tell me racial jokes. they aren't funny.
- it's rude to check your bbm and not apologize for it.
- still waiting for the punchline...
- he's divorced and has a 6 year old daughter (not necessarily a dealbreaker, but he could have been more upfront about that info).
- don't tell me about how much of a slacker you are at work. it's unattractive.
- believe it, i don't have a car. and i'm ok with that.

so yes, it was a date FAIL. i'm pretty sure the feeling was mutual because neither of us said we should do it again or that we would contact the other, and he didn't offer to give me a ride home on his way to The Keg. i felt disappointed as i walked home after my two pints of beer (thankfully, he paid), but the good news was that it was still Friday night! hopefully i will get a few more dates out of this eharmony business - if nothing else, just to make me feel as though i got my money's worth.