I was recently set up with this dude through mutual friends. We went out twice and neither time did he offer me a ride to/from our meeting spot. My date even commented on just how "cold out" it was, as I struggled to take off my many winter layers when I entered the restaurant. I thought that was weird, since he was driving and I'm clearly en route. I have guy friends who always make a point of making sure that I make it home safely or offer up transportation. It goes without saying. I'm a girl living downtown without a car. It's cold and dark out.
I'm looking for someone who is more of a gentleman about things like that.... not that I'm shallow enough to hold that one little thing against him, but it's a red flag. I may not even take him up on the offer, but at least he's OFFERED. And concerned for my safety. That's important to me.
Saturday, December 19, 2009
Friday, December 11, 2009
What's Your Story?
What are your interests? Tough one, huh. Imagine having to answer that question 14 times! Enter speed dating.
I decided to check out a speed dating event with a friend. As it turns out, two of her friends were going to the same event as us. The event was held in a small, martini bar in the market. The tables were set up very close to one another, so at times, it felt as though we were all on the same date. It worked out nicely for me though, because my friend was warming them up for me with her jokes!
This is going to sound mean, but an overwhelming observation I have been able to make over the past few years: the selection of male candidates doesn't seem on par with the quality of female candidates (how's that for being PC!). Most guys there were short (now I understand why a specific "tall men" speed dating event exists!) and kinda nerdy. I would say that 95% of them were in the IT field. Absolutely nothing wrong with being smart, but I felt as though some were nerdier (read: more socially awkward) than others.
The highlights:
Our dates were 8 minutes in length. In some cases, 8 minutes seemed very short and I'd just be getting into a good conversation and then...NEXT! In other cases, 8 minutes was WAY WAY WAY too long.
One guy could barely speak English and I kept having to ask him to repeat himself. He worked for the Japanese Embassy. He also kept telling "jokes", but then not laughing, so I never knew if he was actually making a joke... until moments later, he'd laugh at his own jokes. He also completely shot down the fact that I work for the federal government: "Ohhhh so that must mean that you don't actually work". Huh? He went on to explain that I must be able to come and go as I please and if it's snowing, raining, etc outside, I must just stay home. Wow. Judgy Wudgy! And, clearly not trying to impress me whatsoever.
Then there are the guys who you wouldn't want to actually date, but be their BFF. This was the case for Bryan and Arthur. They were hi-larious and so much fun, but not really my type. With Bryan, we swapped notes on the competition, and left our table to sit at the bar for our date (thank you free drinks!). One of the girls with us commented afterwards that it's too bad there's no "maybe" option. So true. I marked these two guys down as a "yes", but it would have to be clear that I would be interested in hanging out as friends only... One fellow pointed out that even if there is no romantic connection, you never know if that person can lead you to another person, etc, etc as it is so hard to meet new people. Good point!
There were a few oddballs. Richard, the theatre major extraordinaire who made his own aromatherapy products (really, you're bragging about this?!) and wore an ugly sweater. Howard, whose opening line (to everyone, apparently) was "So, what's your story?". Ugh! He was also pretty into himself and went on and on about all of the volunteering he does and how much he loves his big screen TV. One guy told me that "going to the movies" does not classify as an activity or interest of mine...? Thanks for the clarification. Also, I would go as far as to guess that there were a handful of guys at the event who are potentially questioning their sexuality. My gaydar never lies. Another funny thing that happened: one guy wasn't even shy about hiding the notes he was taking...right in front of me! All he wrote down was a dollar sign beside my name. WTF does that even mean!?
Realistically, there were only two individuals who I would be open to going on a real date with. One is a dude with a thick Ukranian accent, who seemed funny and cute. Bonus: nice teeth. One guy had the worst teeth I have ever seen and I could NOT stop staring (think Austin Powers and moles). For the full 8 minutes, I kept thinking "look at his eyes, damnit!".
The burning question I wanted to know from all of my dates was: "How did you find out about this event?". I feel as though chicks are probably more inclined to sign up for speed dating events than dudes. That being said, I was surprised that there were actually two extra guys at the event, so they always had to sit out as we rotated. Many of them said that a (girl) friend of theirs told them about the event, or they just googled it themselves.
I should be receiving my matches (if I have any!) this afternoon. Even if nothing comes of it, I can chalk it up to research for my blog!
I decided to check out a speed dating event with a friend. As it turns out, two of her friends were going to the same event as us. The event was held in a small, martini bar in the market. The tables were set up very close to one another, so at times, it felt as though we were all on the same date. It worked out nicely for me though, because my friend was warming them up for me with her jokes!
This is going to sound mean, but an overwhelming observation I have been able to make over the past few years: the selection of male candidates doesn't seem on par with the quality of female candidates (how's that for being PC!). Most guys there were short (now I understand why a specific "tall men" speed dating event exists!) and kinda nerdy. I would say that 95% of them were in the IT field. Absolutely nothing wrong with being smart, but I felt as though some were nerdier (read: more socially awkward) than others.
The highlights:
Our dates were 8 minutes in length. In some cases, 8 minutes seemed very short and I'd just be getting into a good conversation and then...NEXT! In other cases, 8 minutes was WAY WAY WAY too long.
One guy could barely speak English and I kept having to ask him to repeat himself. He worked for the Japanese Embassy. He also kept telling "jokes", but then not laughing, so I never knew if he was actually making a joke... until moments later, he'd laugh at his own jokes. He also completely shot down the fact that I work for the federal government: "Ohhhh so that must mean that you don't actually work". Huh? He went on to explain that I must be able to come and go as I please and if it's snowing, raining, etc outside, I must just stay home. Wow. Judgy Wudgy! And, clearly not trying to impress me whatsoever.
Then there are the guys who you wouldn't want to actually date, but be their BFF. This was the case for Bryan and Arthur. They were hi-larious and so much fun, but not really my type. With Bryan, we swapped notes on the competition, and left our table to sit at the bar for our date (thank you free drinks!). One of the girls with us commented afterwards that it's too bad there's no "maybe" option. So true. I marked these two guys down as a "yes", but it would have to be clear that I would be interested in hanging out as friends only... One fellow pointed out that even if there is no romantic connection, you never know if that person can lead you to another person, etc, etc as it is so hard to meet new people. Good point!
There were a few oddballs. Richard, the theatre major extraordinaire who made his own aromatherapy products (really, you're bragging about this?!) and wore an ugly sweater. Howard, whose opening line (to everyone, apparently) was "So, what's your story?". Ugh! He was also pretty into himself and went on and on about all of the volunteering he does and how much he loves his big screen TV. One guy told me that "going to the movies" does not classify as an activity or interest of mine...? Thanks for the clarification. Also, I would go as far as to guess that there were a handful of guys at the event who are potentially questioning their sexuality. My gaydar never lies. Another funny thing that happened: one guy wasn't even shy about hiding the notes he was taking...right in front of me! All he wrote down was a dollar sign beside my name. WTF does that even mean!?
Realistically, there were only two individuals who I would be open to going on a real date with. One is a dude with a thick Ukranian accent, who seemed funny and cute. Bonus: nice teeth. One guy had the worst teeth I have ever seen and I could NOT stop staring (think Austin Powers and moles). For the full 8 minutes, I kept thinking "look at his eyes, damnit!".
The burning question I wanted to know from all of my dates was: "How did you find out about this event?". I feel as though chicks are probably more inclined to sign up for speed dating events than dudes. That being said, I was surprised that there were actually two extra guys at the event, so they always had to sit out as we rotated. Many of them said that a (girl) friend of theirs told them about the event, or they just googled it themselves.
I should be receiving my matches (if I have any!) this afternoon. Even if nothing comes of it, I can chalk it up to research for my blog!
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