Wednesday, August 5, 2015


Almost forgot to blog about this one! I met up with Michael on a hot, humid night at pub Italia after he was done playing soccer. We had chatted a bit back and forth, and he seemed really great and we had similar profiles. He's a grade 7/8 math teacher. I was pleasantly surprised when I met him because he looked better in person than in his photos. He wasn't what I was expecting though, not better or worse, just different. I think I was picturing him a bit more nerdy. It was a fairly short date - I think I only had one drink. The conversation felt a bit forced and there were some long, awkward pauses. He started to tell me how he invited a girl from his soccer team as his date to a wedding the weekend prior...but then ditched her?! I thought that was maybe not the best story to be telling someone on a first date! He also seemed like the type of guy who is maybe a bit too negative and enjoys a good debate. Not really what I'm looking for. At the end of the date, we parted ways and biked home. He did mention if I wanted to do it again, to let him know...but that won't be happening.

Friday, July 17, 2015

the italian

Pietro should probably win an award for his dating profile. definitely the most detailed, well thought out, hilarious profile I have read in a long time. he contacted me first and shortly thereafter, asked me out for drinks. I accepted.

again, I knew very little about him, except that he worked on the hill (later discovered he meant worked for the embassy) and had arrived in Ottawa from Rome about 1.5 months ago. he is 33 yrs old, 6 feet, athletic and we shared some of the same interests. what's up with dudes not being good texters? there were still quite a few days between when we had agreed to meet up and when the actual date took place. when I didn't hear from him, I decided to check in on date day to make sure the date was still a go. it was!

he suggested Luxe (fancy!) around 6pm. I got there first and pulled up a seat at the bar since the patio was full. in walks Pietro... pink dress shirt, sunglasses, dress pants, blazer, sneakers and a MURSE. ok, ok, I will let it slide. he is European after all. as it turns out, his mom is French and his dad is Italian. Pietro was born in jersey and lived there until he was 12 before moving to Rome (which is where all of his family currently resides). so he had this weird accent, not Italian... more American/southern? he's on an interchange here in Ottawa for a few years and is still discovering the city.

as many of you know, I have a lot of gay male friends. put it this way: I have good gaydar. this guy is clearly gay. no, not European... gay. and yet, he was very touchy feely and would use any excuse he could to touch my arm, etc. this made things super confusing. good lord, some dudes are clueless! I felt like I was back in junior high when guys would make fun of you if they liked you. listen, if there are free snacks on the bar and it's dinner time, i'm definitely going to be eating them. well, Pietro made some comment about how I sure seemed hungry eating all of the snacks... and then started to go on about how I shouldn't have too many because no one likes a fatty (trying to be funny). not funny. I promptly moved the bowl of snacks away from me. he also kept insinuating that I had glanced at his crotch (I hadn't), and that it's too bad I was wearing a scarf so that he couldn't check out my cleavage. all of this legit happened.

my body language suggested I was NOT interested. at one point I caught myself crossing my arms and legs. Pietro didn't pick up on any of that. toward the end of the date, he stood up beside me and was running his hand down my back/butt/leg area. seriously?! I had to get the eff out of there. maybe the aggressiveness is cultural. but I still feel like guys should pick up on a woman's body language, no?

we each had two drinks and then he wanted a third and said it was rude if he drank alone. I let him drink alone. after about an hour and 45 min date, we called it a night and he paid for the bill while I was in the bathroom (I timed it on purpose). so at least that was nice.

in the end, I don't think we really did have that much in common. he's not a morning person. he hates camping (and sent me the link to a sleeping cot for a tent - "why would you sleep on the ground??"). this is going to sound mean, but I need a MAN. like a real guy's guy. someone who's into sportsing, home renos, beers with the guys, likes the outdoors, etc. Pietro does not fit the bill.

you know, I had flashes of making this guy my GBF, but he blew it when he got creepy/super pretentious.

Thursday, July 9, 2015


after a while, you recognize all of the same faces on pof. I tend to search by "new" all of the time to see if any fresh blood has decided to bite the bullet and join. there's also a section called "ultra match/top prospect", and sometimes new faces magically appear there... although I'm not exactly sure what makes them my super match. in any case, Blair popped up unexpectedly somehow in one of my searches. how could I have let one sneak by me? ha.

we messaged back and forth for a day or two and then decided to meet up. I would be his first online dating experience! the pressure. I didn't know much about Blair except that he's 35, 6'2", lives in Stittsville and is a manager at a grocery store. I admit it, I judged him a little bit based on his career.. buuuut my Dad claims he must make good money (really?). I got the impression he puts in some long days. I also knew that he had recently completed the Spartan Race and loved it (something I have done as well), and was at the same football game as me on the weekend. Oh, and he had a really cute pup who recently passed away, but is thinking of getting another one. He had also been split with his ex for about the same period of time and they were together for 2.5 years.

I was trying to think of a pub downtown that he could get to easily right off the highway. I gave him a few choices and he settled on Pub Italia since he hadn't been there in a while. He asked how this worked - was he to pick me up? I told him he was sweet to offer (bonus points!), but that I would be riding my bike over to meet him. I could tell that he felt a bit weirded out by online dating. He had been on for 3 or 4 months just perusing profiles mostly.

our date went really well! we seem to have a lot in common... for example, we both have cottages on the same lake! well, his parents recently sold theirs, but he's interested in co-owning one with a buddy of his because he loves the spot so much. we are both Cancers (he just had a bday, so technically I guess that makes him two years younger than me). our exes were very similar in a lot of ways. we enjoy the same activities/spots in Ottawa (both originally from here). he has a great social circle of friends (most of whom he's known forever). we even like some of the same TV shows! Blair seems really kind and patient. he is managing a store out in Arnprior and has 200 employees to keep track of. while he enjoys his job, it sounds like he's looking for a change. he puts in long hours, but gets four weeks vacation each year. he bought a house with a friend of his. he also mentioned that he volunteered at the mission for two years and says he misses being downtown (he also used to live on the same street as me).

we ended up chatting for about 3 hours before calling it a night. the conversation flowed really easily and I felt very comfortable with him. Blair didn't offer to pay for my drinks (minus bonus points), but I kind of chalk it up to the fact that he doesn't really know how dating works?! lousy excuse, but for some reason, it didn't bother me as much as when other dudes didn't offer to pay. Blair is not the best at texting, and yet I can see that he is online a lot, which is annoying but in the words of my love guru, Kiki: be patient and keep crazy in the bottle. something I clearly need to work on. he did make it seem like he was also interested in meeting up again, but who knows. fingers crossed!

UPDATE: I asked Blair out on a second date and he told me that i'm not "the one". excuse me? we had been on ONE date. The bottom line is that he was new to online dating and was waiting for the next best thing to come just bummed me out because I felt like we had a real connection.

Monday, July 6, 2015


I liked that Jamie took the initiative to contact me. A lot can be said for that... I just did a quick check and I've contacted 8 dudes in the past few weeks on pof with zero responses! After a lot of texting back and forth, Jamie seemed really sweet and attentive.

Jamie is 6'1", 41 years old and separated from his wife (after 11 years of marriage), who has a teenage daughter from a previous relationship. Jamie basically helped raised the daughter and still wants to be a part of her life. I learned that his wife had cheated on him, multiple times. And yet, Jamie seemed to have a really positive outlook on life and felt like the right woman was out there for him somewhere and that he had a lot to offer to a relationship.

After about a week of chatting (including an actual phone call!), Jamie suggested we meet up on Sunday afternoon for a bike ride. What a great idea, I thought! All I've ever wanted is to find someone who wants to go for bike rides with me (seriously). It seems so simple, but it quite literally might be the best date idea ever. We met up at Dow's Lake and I spotted him right away. Immediately, I was a bit disappointed as I felt he looked quite different from some of the photos he had posted. I knew right away that I wasn't going to be interested/not physically attracted to him, but the great thing about a bike date is that at least I got my exercise in for the day! It was a beautiful day outside, so we rode side-by-side and chatted for about 1.5 hrs.

I felt like Jamie told me some sketchy stories that you probably shouldn't tell someone on a first date. One involved how he got fired from his previous job (he's in the car sales business). He talked about his ex-wife (although still refers to her as his 'wife') A LOT.  Due to the nature of his job (commission-based), he barely got any time off work and didn't exactly seem like a world traveler. It reminded me of my ex and his job...something I am now trying to avoid in a future partner! Jamie is a country boy and I'm a city girl. I also got the impression that he is looking for more of a friendship than a relationship. It must be hard to get back into the dating world after being married for 11 years!

After our bike ride, Jamie asked if I would like to go for a drink on the patio, but I said I needed to get going as I had a lot of errands to run (I lied). I'm trying to get better at not wasting my time (or his) if I don't feel a real connection with someone.

Wednesday, June 17, 2015


Another date! Jason and I have been chatting for a few weeks now and discovered that we both work on Elgin, so I suggested we meet up for a coffee. After my last disastrous date with Neil, I want to avoid wasting any more of my time. A coffee date is perfect for that - short and sweet! Jason is 37, same height as me, a doctor, separated and has two sons (ages 7 and 9) and lives not too far from Centretown. He has 50/50 custody with his ex, so has his sons every other week. He seems like a great dad and really enjoys spending time with his kids (good sign).

Jason had contacted me first and when I read his profile, it really spoke to me. I also liked his 'alias' of 'onethankfuldude'. He seemed really sweet, polite and thoughtful. Hopefully I wasn't off base this time! My one worry was that while his messages all seemed really well written, that Jason would turn out to be boring... or worse... lack a sense of humour.

We met up this morning and I was pleasantly surprised. He has a very welcoming smile and we laughed a lot on our date. Turns out, Jason works at a medical clinic on Elgin - but is also experiencing some restructuring at work himself, so we chatted about that quite a bit. He's very into music and plays some music himself. We chatted for about 45 minutes before I headed back to work. I gave him a hug and he said he would be in touch soon. I had a nice time and would go on another date with him. Time will tell!

UPDATE: I did go on a second date with Jason after he was done a late shift at work. Very sweet guy, but I just wasn't physically attracted to him. Also, he seemed very busy being a part-time dad and full-time doctor!

Tuesday, June 9, 2015


I don't even really know where to start with this one...

After chatting briefly on pof, Neil asked me if I'd like to meet up for drinks sometime this week. Typically, I chat a bit more with a dude prior to meeting up, but thought to myself, what the hell - why not. He seemed polite and very excited for our date. I knew that Neil was 37 yrs old, 6'1, had a freelance job in marketing/publishing (used to be the editor of a well known local newspaper), and lived downtown. That was about it.

We agreed to meet up on Tues night at Bridgehead at....9pm! Immediately I wondered why so late (ahem, past my bedtime), so asked if we could push it earlier to 8pm. He had to work until 8pm.  I asked if we could meet up somewhere that served alcohol. We compromised and agreed to meet at Atomic Rooster at 8:30pm. Sidenote: I clearly didn't read his profile closely enough to see that he doesn't drink (recovering alcoholic maybe?).

Neil was waiting for me outside. He was super handsome, but I was thrown off by what he was wearing (as he did say he was coming straight from work)... jeans, sweatshirt and a backpack? He almost looked like a panhandler. He explained that the Rooster was too noisy and suggested that we go to the Royal Oak. I made a reference to it as the 'Dirty Oak' (which anyone who lives downtown would understand), but poor Neil didn't get it and I think misunderstood, thinking that I was unhappy with his choice. He ordered a Pepsi and I got a beer. And then things got weird.

Case in point:
- smacking his hubba bubba gum with his mouth open
- putting his arms behind his head in the booth we were sitting at
- cracking highly offensive/politically incorrect jokes which were NOT funny
- eyeing me up and down, massaging my shoulder from across the table, holding both of my hands, asking me to touch his mosquito bite(??)
- asking me if he 'passed the interview' or if he got a strike for being a renter
- telling me how he doesn't have kids, but he sure likes to "practice" (ew) and then wanting to cheers to it
- super rude to wait staff
- making fun of me for working in the gov't
- making fun of crunchy granola hippie types who live in Centretown (says the guy who is wearing BRACELETS, brags about yoga and lives in Centretown himself!)
- could sense his huge disappointment that I wasn't artistic (he asked me this question several times)

The list goes on and on. Neil was super cocky, arrogant and all over the place. He'd ask me a question, I would go to answer, and then he would jump into another question. Was he high?!

Neil suggested we go for a walk, which I (stupidly) agreed to. Again, I am terrible at getting out of horrible dates. That should have been my cue to leave.

The bill came and Neil mumbled something about going dutch. I explained that I only had a $20 (as did he). I figured he might just offer to pay for my drink, but no. He gave his $20 to the waitress who started to give him change for the bill, but then he sharply asked her what she was doing; that he had asked her for change for a $20. She was confused (as was I)! She gives him change and then he puts down $6 and she explained that he will need to pay for the rest of the bill (obviously). He then states that the $6 is for me and then I awkwardly put down my $20. Talk about complicated and embarrassing!!! When he went to the washroom, I apologized to her. Neil made a comment as we were leaving that the waitress seemed surly.

We ended up walking to a different bar where we got one more drink and the weirdness continued. We had nothing in common. I was annoyed because I had left my bike behind when we were walking in the direction of my place. After going dutch yet again, we called it a night. We walked back toward my bike and then parted ways at one of the intersections. I sensed he lived more North of where we were walking and wanted to ditch him. I gave him a quick hug, said it was nice to meet him and to have a good night. Of course this guy wouldn't walk me to my bike late at night or care if I got home safely!

This was our text message exchange when I got home:

N: Cute. But you're one hard person to read lol
J: Sorry lol
N: I don't often sit in bars. Glad we went to that second place. I'll remember it.

I was mostly upset that I wasted my time with this weirdo instead of staying in to watch The Bachelorette.

Jay recently reached out to me a few times on pof... once about a month ago asking me how my summer was going and if I had been up to the cottage (I didn't respond) and then again more recently after creating a new profile (not sure why?)... he asked if he could basically have a second chance, that he still owes me a drink. I told him that the moment had passed and wished him luck.

Rob and I ended up going out on about 5 dates in total, including one spectacular bday dinner prepared by moi. I went to a lot of time and money to do something nice for Rob. So when I suggested a movie as our next date, I thought he would offer to pay. Nope. He asked if I wanted to get the movie tickets and he would grab the snacks.... To be honest, this turned me off. He's a DIRECTOR in the government for god's sake! It never dawned on him to perhaps pay for BOTH the movie and snack... is chivalry dead? Perhaps. After the cheap movie date, I didn't hear from Rob for a good 4 days. I could tell he had lost interest... but I had left my 'good' Tupperware at his place (ahem, leftovers from above mentioned meal) and wanted it back. I swung by to pick it up and could tell by Rob's body language that things were done. He didn't seem to really want to let me into his place - I didn't feel welcome, so I left. A few hours later, I texted him to see how he thought our dates were going and he admitted that while physically attracted to me, he didn't think we 'clicked' in conversation. I always got the impression that maybe I wasn't too 'intellectual' enough for him, not that we had deep discussions. Maybe this is why Rob is single at 44? Sigh!

Wednesday, May 20, 2015


Nick and I had been chatting as well for a while on Match before I left for Hawaii. That being said, we didn't overly text much. I chalked it up to not wanting to waste time texting if there wasn't a spark in person. We agreed to meet up upon my return. I liked that he planned the date and chose a wine bar in the Glebe that I had completely forgotten about! A great date spot.

I was a bit worried that Nick might be too nerdy for me... I guess just based on his photos and profile. And I was concerned that he looked quite different in each photo... You know how sometimes iphones will change imessages to email addresses randomly? Well, this happened in Nick's case, so I knew his last name. I immediately creeped him! I stumbled upon an article in the Globe and Mail about his personal financial investment advice. Nick seemed really smart (engineer with the Navy) and REALLY active. I was worried he might be too active!

I spotted Nick from behind when I walked through the wine bar doors. It was actually quite busy for a Thurs night! Nick got up right away and gave me a big hug which I thought was nice. I have to say, he has one of those contagious smiles. Nick was super chatty... I couldn't tell if he was maybe nervous or not. He spoke a lot about all of his activities (trail running, skate skiing, etc), but made sure to ask me about mine. He is also originally from Newfoundland, tall and skinny, and has only been in Ottawa for about a year, but had lived here for three years previously. I wasn't physically attracted to Nick. He had these crazy eyebrows and was even skinnier in person that I thought he was...

After one glass of wine, Nick got the bill so I got the sense that while polite, he wasn't into me either. Our date lasted an hour. We hugged goodbye and then Nick asked if we could do it again sometime which totally threw me off! I didn't know what to say being put on the spot, so I agreed. I never heard from him though, so I think that maybe he just said that because he didn't know what else to say when we parted. NEXT!