Wednesday, December 18, 2013

Some of the reasons I have rejected potential matches on Tinder

[ ] All pictures are of identical twins
[ ] Looks high all the time
[ ] Looks short
[ ] Profile pic is wedding pic and potential match is the groom
[ ] Child in picture ambiguously
[ ] All pictures taken beside or on motorcycles
[ ] Briefly had to question whether you or your dad was the one looking to meet people
[ ] Description says "I'm actually 19"
[ ] Married person looking for fun
[ ] Married person who is looking for someone"couple friendly"
[ ] Description says "first round draft pick" but looks either 48 or 16
[ ] Too many pictures with tigers
[ ] Too much duckface

Wednesday, November 13, 2013

Monday, September 30, 2013

Saturday, September 21, 2013

Thursday, September 19, 2013

Mark, the finale

I was reminded that I never mentioned how things ended with Mark. Obviously since you can see I have been meeting other guys, you'd assume it can't have gone spectacularly. You'd be right. 

After he suggested that he'd like to go out again, he didn't really follow it up with anything. I think I suggested a few days later and he told me he was going "up north" for a week. I either didn't reply or sent an "ok" which, to me, is one of the harsher texts a person can send (the next harshest are "k" and then "k.")

And then, for once, I actually sort of forgot about him. I got a midday text maybe a week? maybe two weeks? later. I was like "OMG HE REALLY DOES WANT TO GO OUT AGAIN!" Turns out....he didn't. The text was a lengthy letdown about how he doesn't see anything romantic happening between us but he'd like to be friends. Actually not a bad ending, and good karma on his part. However, my friend roster is already full with prime specimens. 

Tuesday, September 17, 2013

The soccer fan



Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeew.

Actually, I shouldn’t start like that. I should start with the fact that I was out on one of the most fun nights out I had been on in forever, and we were at the 5th bar of the night. We ran into an acquaintance of mine and her friends who are all part of a particular sports fan club. I locked eyes with a super cute guy and WHOOSH: we were inseparable the rest of the night.

We walked back to my place later in the night as I assumed my place was closer, and I was right. He lived in the suburbs. I never did get a straight answer on why. 

So at various points in our conversation I referred matter-of-factly to the idea that he was staying over. Things like "oh I have the best coffee" and so on. He sort of chuckled, but since we had been drinking I didn't really put much stock into it.

Around 8am, he started to get ready to leave. He was saying something about his car being parked somewhere, and so I assumed there was some kind of ticketing/parking issue. I walked him to the door, he kissed me, and he left. Didn't ask for my phone number. Didn't offer his. Hrm. Maybe he thought he could get in touch with me through his mutual friend?

I debated for a few days about whether to get in touch with him. I am extremely impatient and decided I would go for it rather than sit around waiting, and pretend I was preempting a message from him. I sent a FB message which he read right away. And then...radio silence.

Naturally I turned to gleaning information on the internet. I found his Twitter feed and of course was interested to see who he was following. First red flag: He follows a ton of Playboy models. Second, and reddest red flag: He follows even more of those pickup artist-type people and people who think feminism has led to the downfall of men. This led to a flurry of an internal dialogue. Was he practicing those creepy "pickup" moves on me? Is that what he thinks of women? I was in a spiral.

However, it did lead to at least one good place. I often tell myself things work out however they work out for a reason. It's nice to actually see proof of that in action. I think him not replying to my message has allowed me to dodge a bullet about this size:


Tuesday, July 9, 2013

God help me.


 
 
  He is checking you out right now!
 
 
 
An image of downtown_nudesdowntown_nudes 
38 / Male / Bisexual / Single 
Scarborough 

 
We're letting you know because he's an exceptionally good match. You should check him out too.

Monday, July 8, 2013

Mark

I volunteer at an art gallery. At first I did it because I was unemployed, but now I do it because it's really fun and you get in free to all of the other museums in the city. 

I did think it would be a good place to meet guys, but I quickly realized it was mostly women like me who were interested in volunteering. However, one guy did catch my eye. Interestingly, a number of women (that number: 2) I volunteer with independently told me they thought we would be a good match. So I put them to work researching him. They found out that he was single, and then organized a potluck for the volunteers and invited him. A few of us ended up out for drinks later, and nothing really happened...so I figured that was that.

The next day I get an email from one of them saying that he had been really nervous but he said I should get in touch with him. I was surprised by this because I thought I was the only one who knew I was being set up. 

So I text him the next day with an extremely direct text: "Hey, it's [redacted], do you want to go out this week?" He said yes and after a bit of back-and-forthing, including a REALLY annoying three days when he dropped off the face of the earth after I suggested a location and time at his request, we met up. And we actually had a really nice time. We got along (I thought) super well.

I had a hard time pinning down his age, though. I thought I had him at mid-to-late twenties until he said "well when I was little everyone had a helmet on when they rode their bikes." Um...hold the phone. Who was doing what when? I had to stop him right there and uncharacteristically asked him straight up how old he was. I explained that when I was young, no one ever wore a helmet. He said he was 28. Which of course led to him asking how old I was. I said, and I quote verbatim:

"I'm thirtyyyyyyyyyyyyy....three." I literally could not remember. 

So we eventually have to leave, and we are both going home from the same station so we walk together. As we're walking, he takes out a piece of gum so I am all "he is definitely going to kiss me." We get to the station and we go to say goodbye. I tilt my head up like this:


And he dodges me and goes for my cheek. I can only imagine the look on my face, because he literally asked me "...what?" I said nothing and -- well, didn't quite run, but really hauled ass into the station. 

Weirdly, he texted me like 5 days later and we're supposed to go out again.

Tuesday, May 21, 2013

I'm baaaack....

So, apologies for missing the last 6 months or so. To sum up:

1. I briefly dated a stonemason.
2. I got a cat.
3. I went back on OkCupid. 

I met the stonemason at a bar downtown. This has actually never happened to me before in my life. I slowly realized that we were two very different people, but I thought I should give it a chance because maybe my problem is that I was looking for someone too similar to myself?

Yeah....that wasn't the problem. The problem was that he was borderline alcoholic and also extremely cheap. Not frugal: cheap. He would have me walk him to the subway to swipe him in with my Metropass, for just one example. Another is that on Valentine's Day he said he didn't like to waste his money on flowers.

So here I am, back on OkCupid. I already got one guy who mentioned breasts TWICE while exchanging messages. I have a two drink minimum before I'll even check that site now, just to be able to handle the ridiculousness on there.