Friday, July 17, 2015

the italian

Pietro should probably win an award for his dating profile. definitely the most detailed, well thought out, hilarious profile I have read in a long time. he contacted me first and shortly thereafter, asked me out for drinks. I accepted.

again, I knew very little about him, except that he worked on the hill (later discovered he meant worked for the embassy) and had arrived in Ottawa from Rome about 1.5 months ago. he is 33 yrs old, 6 feet, athletic and we shared some of the same interests. what's up with dudes not being good texters? there were still quite a few days between when we had agreed to meet up and when the actual date took place. when I didn't hear from him, I decided to check in on date day to make sure the date was still a go. it was!

he suggested Luxe (fancy!) around 6pm. I got there first and pulled up a seat at the bar since the patio was full. in walks Pietro... pink dress shirt, sunglasses, dress pants, blazer, sneakers and a MURSE. ok, ok, I will let it slide. he is European after all. as it turns out, his mom is French and his dad is Italian. Pietro was born in jersey and lived there until he was 12 before moving to Rome (which is where all of his family currently resides). so he had this weird accent, not Italian... more American/southern? he's on an interchange here in Ottawa for a few years and is still discovering the city.

as many of you know, I have a lot of gay male friends. put it this way: I have good gaydar. this guy is clearly gay. no, not European... gay. and yet, he was very touchy feely and would use any excuse he could to touch my arm, etc. this made things super confusing. good lord, some dudes are clueless! I felt like I was back in junior high when guys would make fun of you if they liked you. listen, if there are free snacks on the bar and it's dinner time, i'm definitely going to be eating them. well, Pietro made some comment about how I sure seemed hungry eating all of the snacks... and then started to go on about how I shouldn't have too many because no one likes a fatty (trying to be funny). not funny. I promptly moved the bowl of snacks away from me. he also kept insinuating that I had glanced at his crotch (I hadn't), and that it's too bad I was wearing a scarf so that he couldn't check out my cleavage. all of this legit happened.

my body language suggested I was NOT interested. at one point I caught myself crossing my arms and legs. Pietro didn't pick up on any of that. toward the end of the date, he stood up beside me and was running his hand down my back/butt/leg area. seriously?! I had to get the eff out of there. maybe the aggressiveness is cultural. but I still feel like guys should pick up on a woman's body language, no?

we each had two drinks and then he wanted a third and said it was rude if he drank alone. I let him drink alone. after about an hour and 45 min date, we called it a night and he paid for the bill while I was in the bathroom (I timed it on purpose). so at least that was nice.

in the end, I don't think we really did have that much in common. he's not a morning person. he hates camping (and sent me the link to a sleeping cot for a tent - "why would you sleep on the ground??"). this is going to sound mean, but I need a MAN. like a real guy's guy. someone who's into sportsing, home renos, beers with the guys, likes the outdoors, etc. Pietro does not fit the bill.

you know, I had flashes of making this guy my GBF, but he blew it when he got creepy/super pretentious.

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