Kyle

I remember stumbling upon Kyle's profile ages ago, but when I spotted that he was divorced and had a daughter, I quickly retreated. So when Kyle contacted me recently, I decided to give him a shot. His profile really spoke to me and I liked that he knew exactly what he wanted in life. He seemed like a great dad and wanted more kids. I needed to be more open minded, I thought.

We texted back and forth quite a bit for the week where he had his daughter. He worked downtown for DND... as it turned out, only about two blocks away from me. But he lives in Stittsville. He had asked if I wanted to meet up for coffee on Friday, but then practically every day beforehand would ask me if I was free to meet up. I could tell he was anxious to meet me, so I thought that was cute. Unfortunately, it never worked out to meet up ahead of time, so I told him that I looked forward to meeting him on Friday.

Probably my earliest date ever! We met up at Starbucks at 7:30am. Just before I left, he sent me a text with a bunch of questions... "How devoted are you to your partner?", "Are you an affectionate person?", "If you ex called you up, what would you do?". Where was all of this coming from?! I started to worry he would be a weirdo. I called him out on it and he said he just asked, because he'd had some bad experiences meeting women online. So far, they had all been deceitful and selfish. Great. I explained that maybe I could answer his questions AFTER we had met.

Fortunately, in person, Kyle wasn't quite as intense. A good looking guy, tall, well dressed. We chatted easily for an hour and the conversation flowed very nicely. He possesses a lot of qualities I'm looking for in a guy. After we left, Kyle texted to ask if I was free to meet up for a quick drink after work. Sure, why not! Two dates in ONE day? This was unheard of. We met up at Darcy's after work and again, had a very enjoyable conversation and shared lots of laughs.

He shared with me that he had been cheated on numerous times and was very sensitive about it. Understandable, I thought. Poor guy. He said that quite often the women he dated would wind up going back to their ex. Kyle seemed a bit insecure, but it seemed understandable given the circumstances. Still, I couldn't shake the feeling/worry that he might be the jealous type.

We agreed to meet up on Sunday for another date. I didn't hear from him on Saturday which was strange, so I bit the bullet and texted him. He replied saying that he was having a crappy weekend and was feeling down... oh no, is he depressed?! Did I do something wrong? He wouldn't go into detail, but asked if he could get through the day before deciding about tomorrow. Sure...

Flash forward to Sunday. By 11:30am, I texted him to ask how he was feeling. I needed to plan my day! Were we getting together or not? Kyle didn't respond until 5pm asking how my day was going and that he was still feeling a bit "off". I called him out. I was so mad!

The problem with online dating is that you can see when the other person is online...  this messes with your head. A lot. Well, I guess it messed with Kyle's. He said that it upset him to see that I was online on Saturday (meanwhile, I was only online to see if he was online!)... that he can't compete with other dudes (even though there is no one else for him to compete with!)... that online dating just isn't for him. He had also made some comment about how the right woman for him wouldn't hesitate with answering his questions. I explained that I had no problem answering questions, but that it had caught me off guard before even meeting him. I knew there had to be more to it. As it turns out, he has decided to give a female friend of his a shot... she would like to be more than just friends. He is opting to go that route because it's "easy" and "comfortable" and that way, he can skip the whole getting-to-know-you part. Desperate/settling much?

I texted him back saying that it was his loss; that he wasn't even going to give me a chance, despite me feeling really excited to get to know him better. He agreed that he thought we had really hit it off, but couldn't possibly put himself through more rejection. He was going to be the selfish one for once.

So in the end, I dodged yet another bullet! But this guy really did a number on me. I was so discouraged yesterday that I had thoughts of deleting my profile. I think I need to take another break from it, at least for a little bit. It really messes with one's head. It sucks when you walk away thinking that you must have done something wrong, when clearly you didn't.

Sidenote: Coincidentally, we are both taking the same train this Friday for Easter weekend. He is taking his daughter to London to visit family, and I am headed to TO to visit a gf. Fingers crossed I don't bump into him!

UPDATE: John
Not much to report here. I had a second date with him on Tuesday that went really well, but have barely heard from him since (and can see that he's on Tinder ALL of the time). I decided to unmatch myself from him and delete his phone number. Realistically, I didn't see how dating him would work. He lives so far away and I would never be able to see him on the weekend because of work/his daughter. Also, I was unimpressed when he dropped a bomb that he also had a 17 year old son AND that he had been fixed so wouldn't be having any more kids. I got the impression he was more interested in a hook-up, than a relationship. Not quite what I'm looking for. NEXT!

I received a mysterious text message a few days later and it turned out to be John. I broke the news to him that I get the impression we are both looking for different things. His response? "ok". Obviously we were on the same page. Wow, that was easy.

UPDATE: Kyle
I can see that he's still online all of the time!!! So maybe there was no "female friend" after all? Who knows.