Ben

i first met Ben four years ago at a mutual friend's house party. at the time, i had a boyfriend... but i did remember that Ben stood out to me and that i felt a connection with him. after the party, we added each other to facebook and i saw him at said friend's parties over the years. he even invited me to his bday party last year, but i couldn't go.

well, a few weeks ago our (very gay) friend had his birthday party and Ben was there. we didn't really get to chat much at the party, but we stood beside each other for most of the night. at the end of the night, the troops headed out to the gay bar and it wasn't until i got there that i noticed Ben must have gone home. i decided to send him a facebook message saying that i was sorry i didn't get to say good-bye to him (or talk to him at all, for that matter!) and hoped he had fun at the party. he responded rather quickly and said that we should catch up sometime. i agreed. he suggested wed night but i had a busy week, so we postponed our meet up by a week and aimed for a fri night.

i'm going to be honest... while i didn't think Ben was gay (and had been told by our mutual friend that he is straight), i couldn't help but wonder what straight man hangs out with so many gay men and watches Rupaul's Drag Race. was this a red flag? is he just very comfortable with his sexuality? as i've said before, it's important that the person i date be ok with the gays because they are such a huge part of my life and i love them dearly!

the day of our date (or is it a meet up?), i still had no idea what we would be doing or a time/location (this seems to be a theme among dudes). finally, Ben texted me in the afternoon and suggested a time/location at a pub, and then also suggested hitting up Timekode/DJ night at Winterlude. i liked that he was taking charge! he texted me again later to say that he was free to meet up earlier if i wanted, but i was just heading home from the gym after a training course so wasn't sure if i could make it in time. funny, i then bumped into Ben on my walk home and said i had just texted him. i also wanted to find out if he would be eating dinner at the pub or not (he said yes). that eliminated some time for me in getting ready. now what to wear to a pub-slash-outdoor event?! layers.

we met up at the pub and in a lot of ways, it was really nice to not feel nervous about wondering what he's going to look like, etc. the conversation flowed quite easily. i discovered that he works for PCO, originates from Calgary, but went to school in Vancouver and then moved to Ottawa for the job. his mom/sister still live in Calgary, but his brother is in Vancouver. no mention of his Dad... i also still don't know how old Ben is, but assuming/hoping he's in his 30s! he rents an apt on his own near where i live . he is also quite active in jiu jitsu so he talked about that in length.. to the point where i had flashbacks to Lukas discussing golf (who I forgot to blog about, oops), but fortunately, Ben caught himself and opted to talk about something "more interesting". i did feel like Ben didn't really ask me much about myself, but i started to get the impression that maybe he was a little bit nervous. we ordered burgers and salad and had a few beers and then decided it was best to head to Winterlude. the moment of truth! the bill arrived and he did not offer to pay :(

it was really fun checking out the ice sculptures at Winterlude. and the DJ event was neat too! great music. Ottawa can be kind of pathetic sometimes though... the crowd was very small. Ben started dancing which was funny... i felt like i needed many more drinks before i could feel comfortable dancing in front of a (small) crowd, but i did it. the event was short-lived. i think we were there for a good 20 minutes and then it shut down promptly at 10pm (lame!). Ben went in for the kiss and held my hand as we walked to a pub on Elgin for one last drink (again, he did not pay!). there was an awkward moment in the pub when a girl came over to Ben to "say hi". the look on his face said it all - definitely his ex gf, and she was sitting two tables over from us. things got a bit awkward after that; i felt like he got quiet. apparently they split about 8 months ago and were together for over a year. in any case, i'm sure it would be awkward for me too if my ex was within earshot of my date. we hopped in a cab (he paid!) and called it a night.

i had a lot of fun on the date, it felt comfortable and easy and there is chemistry between us. we'll see where it goes/if i hear from him again. we did briefly talk about maybe going skating on sunday as well as attending a beer festival next weekend.