The demon Facebook

The way I see it, the whole purpose of Facebook is to borderline stalk people. I don't feel too badly when I fall down a rabbit hole of looking at my cousin's friend's baby shower pictures. That's what privacy settings are for! She should have locked those down.

However...when I found myself saying "I can't believe that asshole is in Mozambique" (re: UKBF), I realized Facebook is really ignoring a huge market. I don't want to defriend him. (Again.) Going into detail on my defriending policies and issues require a whole other post. And I don't want to block him from my newsfeed. That just means extra work, because I'd have to manually check his profile.

What Facebook should do is let you have a list of people whose profile you can only check a certain number of times a month...say, 5. Don't you think that's an amazing idea?!

Will

So, as I alluded to earlier, I finally went on a date with a guy I met on Match. Will is 31, separated (no kids), and works in his family's business. He had been sending me those kinda weird emails, and I thought he was going to come up with a reason to cancel, but he sent me an email earlier today to reiterate where and when we had planned to meet--- a coffee shop at a bookstore. 

I got there super early so I wouldn't be sweaty. As as result, I got to browse through a lot of cool art books and magazines (super hot George Clooney pics in this month's W btw). He was a little late, but as soon as he came in I saw him. He hadn't seen me, so he texted me to find me, but I knew that he knew it was me as soon as he saw me. 

Anyways, I immediately gave him a huge smile and told him it was great to finally meet him. My five months of meeting strangers and previous three years of holding a very public job really has prepared me well for....well, meeting more strangers. I tried to put all the weirdness out of my mind and just focus on things going well.

He paid for my coffee and we sat down. We had lots to talk about and the conversation went pretty well. I finished my coffee around the time there was a lag in conversation, so I asked if he had finished his coffee too. He said he had, and kept on talking. We probably chatted for another half hour. Eventually there was another lull and he pointed out that he was getting hungry and he probably should let his dog out. I wasn't sure if he was hinting that we should go get something to eat together? I erred on the side of caution and said I had to meet a friend (which was semi-true).

We were walking opposite ways when we left, and I didn't know what to say, so I said "well, be in touch!" and he said "I definitely will" and then went in for a hug. He looked super happy and sincere when he said it, so we'll see....but he did also tell me a number of times that he rarely goes out with the same woman twice. I would go out with him again if he asked, but I probably wouldn't pursue it.

Dying

...of laughter. You have to see this for yourself.

http://moreinlovethanyou.tumblr.com/

Reader-requested update

I was asked last night to post the following:

One of the proposed reasons why the Santa didn't get back to me is that he might have stolen other C's credit card. My opinion is that she lost the card somewhere else, but she is convinced. I say what guy steals your credit card and goes to Jugo Juice and then spends $300 at Shoppers? She says yeah, but if he did, then it totally makes sense that he didn't reply to your email.

Pre-date WTF

I didn't want to hype this up in advance, but I am FINALLY going to be going on a Match date next week. Except I wake up this morning to an email from the guy which I will paraphrase:

"I have been on a ton of coffee dates, and I seem to be stuck in a cycle. I rarely go out with a woman twice, not because there's anything wrong with them, but because I am usually in touch with a few women at a time. I always have my eye on the next one. I am not sure whether the solution is to meet a lot of people, in the hopes of meeting someone really special, or to only be in touch with one woman at a time so I can focus. What do you think?"

UM....SERIOUSLY? So, my first "date" is with a guy who doesn't even bother to get to know anyone unless they meet some mysterious requirements on which he doesn't even elaborate? FML.

A lesson? Maybe?

It was the headline that drew me to this link: How to Get A Man's Telephone Number. I love reading the Hairpin, and their advice is usually relevant and useful. However, this just cracked me up. It would totally happen to me. In fact, I am going to assume the same about every guy who never called me back.

Lack of updates

As the titles indicates...I've got nothing. I have a serious love/hate relationship with online dating. I've been communicating pretty consistently with one guy, but we have yet to meet in person (long, legitimate sounding story). What really annoys me is the fact that I get in touch with TONS of guys. And yet...I hear nothing back. The only guy who I has even seemed slightly appealing and has been in touch is the one I am communicating with.

So what am I doing wrong? My profile doesn't have any spelling errors. I don't look fat in my profile pictures. I send short messages that actively address what the guys talk about in their profiles.

Anyways, I am just feeling kind of down about it lately. Maybe you have some tips for me?

An expert opinion

Me: Oh my god, this guy is in a cowboy hat.
T: He looks like he'd be good in bed.
Me: Two of his four pictures are the same! The only difference is one is in sepia and one is in black and white!
T: Just email him.
Me: Oh my god. He's a limo driver. And he's writing memoirs of a limo driver!
T: He's definitely a criminal. Never mind.

The art of conversation

So, I like to think I am pretty good at writing emails and making conversation face-to-face. I guess, though, I wasn't prepared for the kinds of emails I would get when I joined POF? They seem to fall into three categories:

1. Emails in which the subject line and the content are both "Hi." Or emails that are clearly cut-and-pasted and sent to anyone and everyone. Does this technique ever work?

2. The perverts. One that made other C crack up last night when I recounted it to her had the subject line "Nice" and the body "tits." I also got a cut-and-paste from a guy with the username "CougHunter84" (obviously I clicked on this right away) that was a detailed description of what he wanted to do to me. For real? They have a whole section for people who want emails like that.

3. The actually sincere, which is rare, but always a pleasant surprise! However, one of the latest asked me why I was on the site. So, even though it's obvious what the real reason is, I said because I find it hard to meet new people. He replied "I find it easy to meet new people." Good for you, dude.

"One Fish in the Sea"

Here's an intellectual break for you. While perusing the Ottawa Citizen, I came across this article about a woman who was scammed by a man she met on Plenty of Fish. I was obviously intrigued because I just joined POF to expand my dating options. But reading on, I found myself asking what this has to do with internet dating at all. Couldn't this happen if you met a guy in a bar, or at Starbucks, or at the grocery store? What do you think? Is there something inherently risky about online dating?

A little tip

When your ill-advised far away British love tormentor says he will definitely Skype you when he gets home from work, and p.s., xx, and then you never hear from him again, not even to say "sorry! I had to work late" -- that's a dealbreaker, ladies!

The possible Turk

A few of us went out to the Drake for New Year's Eve. I had never been before and had no idea what to expect, but I really wanted to check out the venue as I'd heard so much about it. The crowd was a little younger but we had a ton of fun regardless.

Nearing the end of the night, we somehow added a hanger-on to our group. He was a youngish guy named Daniel, who was just absolutely so drunk and in love with all of us (love might be the wrong word). Why we humoured him I will never know, but maybe it was fate? Because suddenly his two friends appeared -- friends we had never heard about until that minute -- I fell absolutely head over heels in love/lust with one of them. He wasn't the typical kind of guy I go for. He was sort of muscly and didn't have much hair but he had the most gorgeous blue eyes. I saw his pupils turn into metaphorical hearts at the same time mine did. We were glued together for the rest of the night, which was not long.

He kept asking me to go over to his place, but I declined, over and over. We did sort of make out on the streetcar (OK, not sort of: totally). The little information I gleaned from him was that he had lived in New York City for five and a half years. However, I did manage to improve on one score: I actually got his name and phone number. I texted him later that night and he texted me back right away.

Of course I googled him in the morning, and I thought he would be easier to find because of his unusual first name. I didn't find out anything more about him other than that his name is Turkish, which made everything make sense. So many Turkish guys have the most amazing blue eyes, and they have a weird affinity for me (I spent a month in Turkey as part of my trip).

So, now we come to the sad part of my story. I honestly expected him to get in touch with me at some point on New Year's Day, but I wasn't sweating it too much. I am, however, impatient so I texted him in the evening saying hope he had a good first day of the year, and he should give me a shout if he wanted to get together this week. He texted back early this morning saying he had spent the day relaxing, and that he hoped I'd had a good day, too. That's it. Hmm. Probably won't be hearing from him again.